There's no way out

oops

I was still sleeping when that motherfucker also known as my alarm clock started at 5am. I wanted to die. There was no way in hell the night had passed so quickly. I somehow crawled outta the bed and got ready. I put my long black hair in a low kinda messy bun and wore a black top with long sleeves and dark low rise jeans with black converse. I found motivation out of nowhere and put on some mascara and a nude-ish lipstick. I sorta forgot what day it was and why the hell my mom would want me to wake up that early, but when she started shouting from downstairs for me to hurry up, it hit me harder than a baseball bat in the face. Weight check.

''I'm so fucking screwed'' I thought to myself as I started pacing around the room panicking. What the hell was I gonna do? If I haven't gained at least 40 pounds from the last time, which I haven't, they'd keep me there. I'd have to go to rehab, and I couldn't let that happen. I quickly tried to drink two whole bottles of water thinking it'd do its magic. And then the worst part of the day was ahead of me.

7pm.

I survived the long day. I was hella exhausted but at least it was finally over. I was chilling in my room smoking a cigarette hoping my mom wouldn't smell the smoke coming through the closed door, but even if she did, she wouldn't make a drama outta it since we've got worse problems. I tend to spend a lot of time all alone in my room because other people's presence keeps making me nauseous for some reason... although, there's this boy who i adore so much. I could've sworn that dickhead keeps making me wanna rip my hair out one by one and scream until I go deaf from my own screaming. but holy shit. would you believe me if i told you he's the only one making me wanna live? There's something about him, I don't know how to describe it. His face, his features, his body, everything about him. I think of him whenever I bring myself off and I find myself in heaven. Usually people avoid talking about their best friends in that way...But...

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