THE OUTSIDERS AND MORE X READER ONESHOT AND SMUTSHOTS

⚠️ Steve x GN! Reader Curtis

TW: suicide, sh, depression
~~~~

(Y/N) POV✧⁠*⁠。~

Dear whoever is reading this,

Today is it. No more hiding. No more pain. No more suffering. It is over. In the not so famous words of Johnny Cade "I'm gonna kill myself or something." Two bullets, one warning to anyone who cares. And one hitting me. I'm sorry Steve. Pony, Soda, Darry, this is not your fault. I just can't take this anymore. All the bullying, everyone telling me I'd be better off dead or something. Two-Bit, you always made my day. Dallas, don't try and fight for me, I don't want you to. Johnny, keep watching out for old Dally.

He needs all the support he can get, you're the only thing truly keeping Dallas alive and functioning. None of you do anything stupid like try to avenge me. I'm going out my way, on my own terms.

Sincerely, your dearest and most best friend,
(Y/N) Curtis

And done. Final touches added. I'll plant this somewhere where someone will find it, tomorrow.

Steve POV✧⁠*⁠。~

"(Y/N)! Me and Soda are home!" I call out, but nobody answers. "Weird... They usually answer when I call out." I think to myself. Soda does his usual after work routine. And I take it upon myself to go check (Y/N)'s room. "(Y/N)? You in here?" I knock. I try opening the door but it's locked.

Oh shit. I hear a gunshot come from their room, then after the first one I hear a second, then a loud thud. Soda comes running and banging on the door. I rush out of the house, towards window for (Y/N)'s room. I grab the sharpest or heaviest object and throw it through the window. There on the bed. They sit. Bleeding out.

"FUCK! (Y/N)!" I yell. I unlock the door. "SODA CALL THE AMBULANCE!" I feel the tears well up in my eyes, I can't help it.

"Steve..." (Y/N) mumbles.

"No, no no no no! (Y/N), don't close your eyes. Come on please! Please, I love you. Don't go. Please!" my tears flow even more. I can't lose them. No. Not again. Not ever.

Flashback✧⁠*⁠。~

"(Y/N), you have to be more careful next time... Playing with knives isn't funny," Steve mumbles, to (Y/N) who is currently asleep, hooked up to monitors. "We can't have this happen again my love, you mean too much."

He kisses them on the forehead.

"I'll always be here. I'll stay by your side for as long as it takes for you to recover."

(Y/N) POV✧⁠*⁠。~

Why am I awake? Where am I? I'm not in heaven. Though I see a lot of white, and fluffy, fuzzy features. Four figures standing near me, covered by shadow. You know, I always though I would end up in hell. Come to think about it, I thought maybe I'd be stuck on Earth forced to forever walk the Earth, alone.

"(Y/N)?" I hear Pony say. I squeeze my eyes shut and open them again. I'm not dead. I'm in the hospital. The four figures are my family. My brothers and my boyfriend. I take in my surroundings, I got to sit up, when pain strikes through my whole body.

"ARGH- shhhit!" I cry out. Darry puts a hand on my shoulder and.slowly lays me down.

"No, it's ok. No need to get up," Darry quietly comments. I stare at Steve and Soda. They're still crying, I think they cried the most. Considering Pony just looks worried, and Darry has red eyes, meaning he did cry, maybe they're both crying still. Things are a little blurry still. But I can factually see Steve and Soda crying.

"Guys, can you give us a minute?" Steve looks at the others. Darry hesitates for a second before nodding, and my brothers are gone. I watch them through fuzzy eyes leave the room.

I'm hit with a pang of regret, then  mumble "Hey Steve..." He looks at me.

"Hey..." he seems more focused on my arms rather than me. I look down. Shit, all of my cuts are exposed. I go to cover them but Steve grabs my hand. "No, no need to hide them." He looks at them, looking me in the face.

"I guess you have some questions for me?" I look at him.

"Yeah... Why didn't you talk to me about this? I offered the help. I wanted to help you," I can hear the pain in his voice. I bow my head. "I love you. I can't go through this again. I can't lose you like I almost did the last time..." He pauses.

"Steve... I'm sorry," I mumble.

Steve shakes his head, "No. No I'm sorry (Y/N). That sounded, so selfish of me. I didn't mean 'I can't go through this again,' like you were bothering me or something... I meant it more like," he pauses again, "Honestly I don't know how I meant it. But I didn't meant it in a bad way."

"It's ok, I get it," I smile.

"Yeah, you always understood my weird antics, that's something I really like about you." He grabs my hand, smiling.

We sit in silence. Steve looks up at the door. Then looks at me, leaning down to kiss my forehead. I feel tears well up in my eyes. "Hey, no crying in my presence baby," Steve chuckles wiping away the tears from my eyes. "I'll always be here. I'll stay by your side for as long as it takes for you to recover."

Darry knocks quietly before walking in with Soda and Pony. Steve walks out and I can't bare to look at my brothers as they walk in.

Darry waits for Steve to close the door, we all watch him. "(Y/N), what happened? I thought you were getting better," Darry has tears in his eyes as he says it. I close my eyes.

Soda steps in, "Darry, come on. They can't help it. They can't control it."

"Still, I should know the signs better! We've dealt with this before, I should have known!" Darry puts a hand over his eyes.

Pony looks at me, then to Darry, "It's my fault."

We all look at him. "Ponyboy Michael Curtis," I start, "This is not your fault. What in God's name makes you say that it was?"

"I saw all the signs, I saw them. But I just... Thought nothing of it," he says disappointedly, Pony starts to cry and Soda hugs him in an attempt to comfort him.

Darry isn't angry like I thought he would be. Instead he hugs Pony and tells him that it was ok, "Next time, call me or Soda, let us know. We can't have this happen ever again." Ponyboy nods in agreement.
~~~~

This may not be as much of a satisfying ending or have as much comfort, but weirdly enough this is my favorite one out of any of the other stories. But as always I'm always here if you need to talk. There is also the 741741 text line you can talk to. Just send "home" and there is someone who you can talk to. I love you guys if nobody else does, you guys are the reason I write these stories, also my art block is another reason. But I started these oneshots as a way to help others who find these characters comforting and struggle with mental illness to find at least some solace and peace in the struggles of real life. Because we need an escape every once in awhile. I also started these oneshots because I myself struggle with certain mental illness and at the time I was at a low point and I hurt myself, not badly, but I regretted it. But with support from friends and the 741741 text line I can say that I've been trying to get better. Even with help from family. Anyways, have a good day, night, or evening. Goodbye my friends! ❤️