original date of publication: april 8, 2022
In my dreams, we dance. In my dreams I have a chance.
The electric blue light flits in purple and pink, down walls I recognise that aren't quite mine. There's a bed that can't quite take shape, clothes that aren't quite yours, clinging too tightly to a body I've never touched but know like mine.
You smile, metal glints, flint, sparks light up the dry lint, would you ever smile that way at me? Are your eyes green? I always know but it's hard to tell, and in hell, it's warm but not as warm as my skin that pulls me awake, and I make myself fall back asleep, back into your arms, a sheep to slaughter- not me, I can't see how I'd ever find you in the real world, but I dream someday that I'll walk outside and find someone worth meeting. I'd see you across the street, in the heat, press myself against my window and hope against hope to know where you go.
Fever dreams like shiny beads, sweat or jewellery you poured over for weeks, I wish I heard you, I wish you wanted to see me. You are molten gold like sunlight through my fingers, warm and inviting and cold and delighting and I want to know the taste of sunlight like my soul depends on it.
I prayed to find you to a god in hiding who promised me silence that was calm and polite and even though you were given by frost and unliving you were not unloving and I knew that was coming; she said you'd be there when she brushed my hair and told me I'd find someone beautiful, but I saw him watching and knew what was coming even if I couldn't say the words.
I always said I wanted to love again and I kept saying it may not be you; but she sends me dreams and I know what they mean, and it might not be you, but I want it to.
YOU ARE READING
Assorted Poetry
PoetryI had a vent account on Poetizer, but it went paid, so I had to save the poems here. They're not particularly effortful, just vomited prose, but I had nothing else to do with them. They may be added to, or not. Largely not too graphic, but there is...
