original date of publication: unknown, prior to 2020
I forgot who I was this morning; when I first looked in the mirror it didn't look like me, but when I looked again I realised I've never been me.
I forget my name sometimes; when I first introduced myself to her I forgot whose name I was using. My name is a secret, only to be known between lovers. I lie about my identity to be told I'm telling the truth.
I forgot who I was supposed to be; tainted by those around me, I fooled myself into believing it was I who loved her. Oh, no, she's never been a player in our game, only her own fantastic one; but for a split second I wondered if she'd be mine. Only because what is "mine" and what is "ours" and what is "everyone's" blurs so easily in this twilight moment of our lives, and I forget. I forget the boundaries; all I know is my awareness is seperate, yet murky.
I forget, sometimes, why I don't know who I am. And I sit and wonder why I don't remember, my broken memory forgetting itself. I sit and wonder how I find myself in a world where I can't differentiate between myself and others. I forget how to differentiate. I forget.
As my memories fade, so do I, into the background of another's life; a life that's also mine.
LJ
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Assorted Poetry
PoetryI had a vent account on Poetizer, but it went paid, so I had to save the poems here. They're not particularly effortful, just vomited prose, but I had nothing else to do with them. They may be added to, or not. Largely not too graphic, but there is...
