The Way I Used to Be

The End is The Beginning

"I don't know what happened, I..." Alexei whispered, her voice trembling and filled with an unsettling mixture of fear and confusion. Her wide eyes darted around, searching for sympathy, but all I felt was a deep, simmering anger.

In that moment, I couldn't help but wish she had been the one to die instead of my dad. The thought hit me like a punch to the gut, heavy and unwelcome, but I couldn't shake it. She was the one who had caused so much turmoil, the one whose presence felt like a dark cloud hanging over our lives. How could she be here, alive and breathing, when my dad might be fighting for his life somewhere?

"Why are you even here?" I shot back, my voice laced with bitterness and resentment. Each word dripped with the weight of everything I had lost, every wound she had inflicted. "You should be the one gone." The truth hung in the air between us, a painful reminder of her actions that had shattered my world. The fury that coursed through me felt electric, igniting memories of every moment she had tormented me, every lie she had spun to keep me under her thumb.

I couldn't help but feel the sharp sting of betrayal as I confronted her. My heart is raced, fueled by the desire for justice, for retribution. "You think you can just walk into my life and pretend everything's fine? You're a ghost haunting the remnants of my existence, and I'm done letting you take up space in my mind."

The words hung in the air between us, charged with all the resentment I had bottled up over the months. The image of my dad's smile flashed in my mind, and it fueled my rage. How could she act like she mattered now, after everything she'd done?

"I'm going to go home," I mumbled, my voice barely audible, as a wave of exhaustion washed over me. As I turned to leave, I noticed Alexei close her eyes ever so slightly, a fleeting expression that sent a shiver down my spine.

~Time passes~

(They meet in the same room again.)

I couldn't believe she had survived. She had to have done something—had to have played a role in whatever had happened to my dad. The thought twisted in my gut, making my skin crawl with a mix of anger and dread. How could she stand there, looking so fragile, when I felt the weight of betrayal pressing down on me?

"You did it... didn't you?" I accused, my voice rising with fury. The accusation hung in the air, charged with the intensity of my suspicion. I wanted her to deny it, to say something—anything—that would convince me I was wrong. But deep down, I felt the truth gnawing at me, clawing its way to the surface.

Her eyes flickered open, and for a brief moment, I thought I saw a flash of guilt. But then it was gone, replaced by a defensive look that made my heart race.

"No need to keep it a secret anymore," I spat, my voice thick with rage. "You killed everyone I loved, and you got what you wanted." As the words left my mouth, I could see a twisted grin spread across her face, a smirk that ignited a firestorm of fury within me. I wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug expression off her face and never have to see it again.

"You don't even know how this started," she said, her tone dripping with condescension. "This has been decades of fighting..." Her words trailed off, but the implication hung in the air like a thick fog, suffocating and oppressive.

I took a step closer, my heart racing. "Decades? What are you talking about?"  The reality of her words felt like a punch to the gut, but I couldn't let her see how much she affected me. I needed answers, but all I felt was a torrent of anger and confusion swirling inside me.

"You think this is just about you and your dad? This is bigger than that," she continued, her eyes gleaming with a manic intensity. "You've been a pawn in a game far beyond your understanding."