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6: Consider the bridge

Let's talk now, voice.

"Finally, I thought you'd leave me hanging here forever."

A wry humor laced the voice, though it felt more exhausted than amused. Maybe it mirrored my own weariness.

"Sorry, that was just too much."

"Understandable. Ready to talk now?"

Talking meant facing the abyss I'd been staring into, the truth lurking beneath the surface. But was avoiding it any better?

I hesitated for a second before replying, "Yeah, I guess."

"So tell me."

"What exactly?"

"What is the underlying issue here?"

The question hung heavy in the air. The reasons I'd come here, the justifications I'd built in my mind, suddenly felt flimsy. Was it just the recent failures, the heartbreak? Or was there something deeper, something I hadn't allowed myself to see?

I look up at the sky, truly considering this question. Perhaps everything I went through was not the reason for me being here.

Maybe it's because I don't believe in myself enough that I'll get through it without love.

"Of course, you need love to get through everything, through life. What's the point of living life without love?" The voice added.

"Are you saying I should do it?"

The question slipped out before I could stop it. The voice, the ever-present reminder of what I was considering, felt less like an antagonist and more like a distorted reflection of my own despair.

"Hey, don't hang your thoughts on me. If you want to do it, do it already and get this over with."

I smiled.

"Alright, would you continue?"

"Love's embrace stretches across the globe, a warm hand reaching out from a best friend, a partner, or a furry companion. The way we experience love is unique, a vibrant tapestry woven with each connection."

"And?"

"Though the language of love may differ from heart to heart, a universal truth remains: the gentle flame of self-love is a vital spark we all carry within. It's a light we can't afford to let extinguish."

The voice's words echoed in the silence around me.

Self-love. A concept I'd always taken for granted, assuming it was an inherent part of being.

But what if it wasn't? What if, somewhere along the way, I'd lost sight of it, replaced it with a desperate need for external validation? The realization felt like a punch to the gut, but also a spark of something new, a tiny spark flickering to life amidst the ashes of despair.

"Self-love, huh? Sounds kinda... selfish." A wry smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.

Even though I don't think it is.

"Selfish? Not at all. Think of it like putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others on the plane. You can't pour from an empty cup, right?"

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But how do I get there? How do I find that... self-love?"

It felt weird saying it out loud as I was never really that close with myself.

Not even close at all.

"There's no one-size-fits-all answer, but it starts with small things. Activities you enjoy, things that make you feel good about yourself. Remember that inner child you used to be, the one who loved exploring, creating, or just messing around? Reconnect with them."