𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐄

026

PRETTY FACE TWENTY SIX
THINKING | OVER DOING IT
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6:20 pm

Seungmin ended up going home because his class got cancelled and Felix offered to give him ride which he accepted. The blonde knew his mother wouldn't be home because she had a shift and didn't worry. The young blonde swung the door of his bedroom open and entering then closing it behind him. He rushed into the bathroom locking it behind him and went over to the toilet.

WARNING: MENTIONS OF BLOOD, THROWING UP, HARSH LANGUAGE ETC.

Seungmin pulled his fingers in his throat gagging and throwing up foods that he had ate. The blonde had tears in his eyes as he continued to do so. In the corner of his eye he could see slight drops of blood. He didn't panic as he knew that it was his own fault.
Seungmin began feel his breathing uneven and began to hear the voices like echoing. He fell to the ground and covered his ears while crying. He hiccup as he cried violently and closed his eyes.

'Do you really think Minho will like you?' That voice inside his head spoke. Seungmin cried even more as he felt the voice getting louder. 'Minho is very handsome, soon he will get bored of you. Do you really think he will you after he sees your body covered in marks?'

'It must be nice eating knowing you're no even skinny. You can cut the calories, you're getting too fat and minho won't be able to carry you.'

"shut up! That's not true!" The blonde cried out. 'Taehyung was right after all, you could change yourself psychically but you can't change your real you.' Seungmin pulled his hair violently and screamed. 'Come on min, get the razor, cut deep, starve yourself...it's such a shame that once Minho finds out you will be back to your old past.'

"s-stop it! Q-quit it! You're lying!" The voice seemed happy to hear cries from the younger yet unsatisfied. If it was an actual person then they would grinning upon hearing the blonde and seeing him in such a vulnerable position.

Seungmin felt his memories flash through his mind. The memorable moments that were worth to stay for to create more in the future. His friends that made it possible to continue another day but reality had hit him and mentally. The blonde knew how his world was, how fucked up his mind was how mentally and physically exhausted he was.

All those sweet fun memories that he loved and wanted it to continue but now it seemed as not even those memories were enough for him to continue. "where are you now..." he shakily mumbled. All his efforts would be wasted if he did ended it once and for all. It even made him hated himself more for doing it to his mother. A mother who would have a dead son, whom she will have to make a funeral because of him. He won't be known as Kim Seungmin whom lived his life so lively.

But as Kim Seungmin the boy who committed suicide. The boy who was suffering from major depression and who had been suffering from life. The boy was ho suffered from bully and who was criticized all his life.

'Your mother must be very disappointed in his son. She must be sad that her son is a whole joke not only to her but to the world.' Seungmin took out all his things from his backpack and pulled his pills. He breathe heavily as he shakily puts the pill in his mouth then swallows it.

He stood up from the floor stumbling over his own feet. Seungmin put his hands on the counter and looked at himself in the mirror. The poor blonde looked horrible, his red puffy eyes, his pale face and his dark eye bags under his eyes.

People who bullied him mentally and physically made him this sick. Yet he had to thank them? Quite unfair but in a world like this was always unfair and it was always to those who don't deserve the harsh treatment. Those who don't do anything to harm anyone or do anything get the worst consequences.

Seungmin felt numb, he didn't know whether to continue to cry or what else to do in that moment. He opened where he kept his razors hidden, he pressed it against his side of his stomach and slides it. The cold metal sliding, the red liquid dripping down, his tears making his vision a blur.

He did it again until he was satisfied. Seungmin cleaned it and hated himself for being like this. "I-I want to live..." he had many friends and even the blonde could say that now but in his mind he had no one to talk about what went through his mind each minute every hour.

No matter how much the blonde tried to escaped from it, it would always come back to him. The last thing he wanted was to have his friends have a dead friend. Seungmin wanted to live although life seemed like it wanted the blonde dead. He couldn't help but harm himself. He became too numb yet he couldn't tell a single soul.

Seungmin stumbled over his own feet as he dragged himself to his room leaving the mess in the bathroom. Blood spilled in the toilet along as the sink. He shakily takes out his phone and his face turning even more pale than it already was. As if he was lifeless.

"I-i want to live..I c-can't anymore." The phone went off awaiting for someone to pick the phone. He bit his lip harshly enough to draw blood and had dried tears.

"hello? Min?" Silence took over, it was up to Seungmin to allow his friends to help him or to hidden until his last breath. "Jisung, p-please I-i need you..." he quietly cried into the phone. Movement was heard from the other line.

"Coming! Do you want only me to come or just me?"

"just y-you.." Jisung hummed and picked up his things. "hey min min, stay on the line and I need you to breathe in then out." Seungmin hums, he tries to follow the breathing exercises but it became too hard for the younger.

"hey min min, I'll be there soon!"

-"hai' I hope everyone had an amazing day. If it's night go to sleep, it's too late and if it's not then enjoy the rest of your day. Remember to eat, drink lots of water and don't overwork yourself. I apologize for making seungmin suffer again- I hope everyone had a good day 🩷"