Sweet Little Girl

Twenty Seven

I was feeling very needy today. Ever since mommy and I came home I've been following her everywhere. What makes things difficult for me is that I can't regress. I could try going into my room or to my playroom to help put me into headspace but that would mean I'd be away from mommy which I don't want. Mommy thinks I'm stressed from all the assignments and semester tests I have coming up. She suggested I take an Afternoon nap just to give my brain some rest but that's not going to happen.

I'm sitting right at her feet because I want to be close to her. She's working and is hardly paying me any attention. I don't understand how she can go to work for 8 hours and still come back home and keep working. It's quite frustrating if I'm being honest but mommy still hasn't noticed how it's affecting me.

I get up to grab a pen from her table and look through her drawers to hopefully find a few sheets of papers to brainstorm some ideas for one of my major assignments. I have no luck finding paper but I do stumble across a huge scrapbook that's decorated with pink lace and white bows. In the middle of the scrapbook are two big letters "LR".

I contemplate on whether I should open it to see what's inside because there's colourful marking paper sticking out in different areas, almost like chapters of a book. I look up at mommy and she's still glued to whatever it is she's working on. I open the book and a few notes slip while I manage to catch a few. I flip the page and my stomach does a flip.

"What the hell?"

"Hey! Language!" Mommy says but she's still not looking at me. My hands are trembling, my head is spinning, I'm biting down on my teeth so hard my jaw hurts. All I'm seeing is Latisha dressed in baby clothes some pictures have mommy in them and they both look very happy. I connect the dots in my head and I reach the conclusion that Latisha is mommy's little. That's why she forces me to go to school everyday, she doesn't give me any attention and constantly uses work as an excuse. She loves Latisha more than me.

"I'm a fucking idiot!" I yell with tears running down my face.

"Nollani!" Mommy snaps. Her expression goes from anger to shock when her eyes land on the scrapbook in my hands.

"I knew you were too good to be true. You never loved me did you?!" I say staring her dead in the eyes, shaking with anger.

"Baby-"

"Don't baby me! You don't pay attention to me anymore, you're always making excuses to go to that stupid office, you're always busy with some fucking project! You've been feeding me lies and we've been living a little lie!"

"Nollani!" She yells making me flinch. "Can I speak?"

"More lies? Sure!" I'm swiftly lifted off my feet. I start kicking and squirming in her arms. "Put me down!" I say screaming. I can't even control my cries anymore. I haven't felt hurt like this in a good while. She doesn't listen to me, instead she lets me throw my fit until I'm limp in her arms. I lay my head on her shoulder because she's been my source of comfort for the past 2 months.

"Can you listen to me now?" I don't respond because surely there's no way shes going to defend herself from this one. "Look up please." She says very calm and I do. In fact I feel so much rage that I look at her as if challenging her. She sits back down in her chair with me on her lap. I scoot off choosing to stand on my feet, than to sit on someone else's mommy.

Hanaina picks up the scrapbook placing it on the table. She turns to the very back of it and she points to a date "24/06/2014 - 17/12/2021", then she looks back up me. "That's when Latisha and I ended it." She says with her finger on the latter date. I look at her blankly, so Tisha's her notorious previous little?

She then reaches into one of the drawers and pulls out a second scrapbook. This one is decorated with pastel colours and has a big letter N on it. Mine? "Wanna look at it with me?" she asks reaching for me. I walk closer to her and she puts me on her lap. I snuggle closer into her. She opens the book and it's pictures of me, I look up at her a bit surprised and she gives me a smile in return. We go through a few of my pictures and I giggle when I see a picture of me playing in the sandpit after having abandoned my clothes. Mommy has it titled 'My Nakey Little Girl'.

Mommy closes the book and shrink into her when she looks at me. "Mommy loves you so much sweet girl. I know I've been very selfish and paying too much attention to my work but Mommy's going to work on that. You're my baby now and I promise to make it up to you." My eyes go blurry with tears, tears of guilt.

"I sorry mommy." I say plunging my face into her boobies. She rubs my back reassuring me. "No want Tisha's book here!" I say, my words muffled against her chest. I look up waiting for her to say something.

"She doesn't know I made this for her. I was planning on giving it to her soon. It's going to be gone by tomorrow though I promise." Mommy smiles softly, kissing my forehead. "Such a jealous girl." She says and I whine rubbing my face against her chest.

My head feels fuzzy, I can't even think straight. I whine feeling restless and mommy moves me making me straddle her lap. She reaches her hand into my shirt and scratches my back. It only works to calm me down for a short while before I'm back to whining again. I squirm restlessly wanting some comfort, Mommy exposes her boob. "Mi'ky!" I say as best as I could in the moment.

"I know sweetheart." She says adjusting my head. She rubs her nipple against my lips and I latch on. "That's a good girl." She says rocking us back and forth. "Such a good girl."