Sweet Little Girl

Eight

What? One minute I'm getting fired the next she's asking me if I would let her be my mommy? The obvious part to all of this is I've wanted to her to be my mommy but this is a lot for one day.

If I agree to her being my mommy, does that mean I lose all my independence? Can I really trust Hanaina? She's been so nice to me though so I don't see why I wouldn't trust her. I have so many questions for her. My hands feel so sweaty. I don't know what's going on in my head.

"I'm sorry baby for rushing you into things. I shouldn't have said that." I stay quiet wiping my hands on my dress. Why can't I just tell her I want her to be my mommy. I've never really had anyone care for me like that. I've supported myself for the most part how do I switch from that?

"Why don't I drive you home?" She says quickly standing up, leaving to probably get her keys.

"No!" I say using my small bit of courage. My stomach feels so funny. I think I'm going to throw up.

"No?" She asks confused turning on her heels.

"No!" I repeat myself.

She looks at me intensly waiting for me to continue. "I- I- want you to be my-" Why is it so difficult to say. I'm so stupid! Maybe she should really drive me home.

"I need you to tell me what you want lovebug" She comes over to me rubbing my back. I just want to jump in her lap and have her hold me like she did a few days ago.

"-my mommy, Iwantyoutobemymommy." I say not making eye contact with her. My face feels wet, why am I crying? She pulls me onto her lap and cradles me.

"You're overwhelmed huh?" She softly asks patting my bottom. "I would gladly be your mommy baby, I just need to hear what's going on in your head." She kisses my head making me feel so little.

"My head too noisy" I say sitting up and facing her, rubbing the top of my head.

"Is that so? What's all the noise about, can you tell me?" She turns me so that I'm straddling her lap. I lay my head on her chest trying very hard to focus but I can't.

"No hurts." I say whining rubbing my face on her chest.

"It's alright pumpkin" she says bouncing me on her lap which makes me very sleepy. She continues bouncing me and patting my bottom simultaneously. My eyes feel so heavy, then everything feels so quiet.

It's so soft, I open my eyes and I'm surrounded by pillow. Everything looks unfamiliar, where on earth am I?

"Oh shit!"

I slipped. Again! I'll worry about that later. I get off the bed, wondering why it's so high. Stupid bed. I open the door and look down the passage seeing so many doors, some open some closed.

"Nollani?" I hear Hanaina call me. Where is she? I open the door closest to where I hear her voice but she's not there. "Here love!" she yells. I open the next door and I see her sitting at a desk. Of course she has an office in her house!A serious workaholic I must say.

"Did you have a good nap?" She asks looking at me above her glasses.

"Yes Miss Hanaina." Or mommy? I'll ask about that later.

"Can you come over here please, you don't have to stand at the door." She smiles. I stand next to her only to be sat on her lap. I hide my face with my hands. It's different when I'm big, sort of embarrassing.

She chuckles removing my hands from my face. "You have to get used to this if you're going to be my little girl." She smiles at me brushing the hairs out of my face. "I tried to ask when you were little but it wasn't such a great idea, can you tell me what you thought about our conversation earlier?"

"I've never had a mommy before so I don't know how this whole thing works." She nods.

"Well, what happens is you and I consent to this relationship which then means we both agree on a set of rules and boundaries. You can choose if you want to stay independent or you want me to take full control of you and your wants and needs. If you wish to, you can choose to leave this relationship whenever you want. You're not forced to stay pumpkin." I like when she calls me pumpkin. Okay Focus!

"What happens if I choose not to be independent?" I look at her curious.

"Well in that case you can move in with me and let me take care of all your necessities."

"What rules and boundaries are you talking about?" She looks at me for a moment.

"When littles and their caregivers come into agreement, they usually discuss a set of rules and boundaries to avoid anything bad from happening. I'll talk about rules and boundaries with you in great detail a little later." I nod in acknowledgment.

"Have you had a little before?" She freezes before nodding her head.

"Yes, I've had a little one before. She chose to have her big life again so I let her go". I nod not wanting to ask any more questions about her little because it makes me jealous.

"If I move in with you, what's going to happen to my place?" I change the topic.

"We'll let someone else live there then if you ever want to leave I can find you a better place to stay. Then I'll give you all of the savings I have for you so you can support yourself."

"What savings?"

"While you live with me, I'll be supporting you like how any parent would or atleast should. For me, that includes saving money to help fulfil your needs should anything happen in the future." I don't want her money though. I don't think I deserve any of it anyway. I just really like how she makes me feel.

"But I don't want you spending money on me." I tell her with my arms crossed.

"But I will be spending money on you." I shake my head not pleased with her answer. She nods her head, sternly staring at me as if challenging me.

"Fine!" I say defeated getting off her lap.

"I see I've got a very sassy little one on my hands." She says shaking her head.