I'm Not Okay. I Promise.

Chapter One: You Wear Me Out

"Gerard..." I looked up from my sketchbook, closing my eyes and swallowing as I sighed, the bitter cold air brushing by from the midwinter weather. I bit my lip, eyes fluttering as I shivered, head ducking again as I reached up pulling at my hood without a sound. I rolled my eyes and continued to doodle when the familiar voice tried again, "Gerard...We need to talk."

I kept my gaze down, but looked to the ground, "There's nothing to say." I spoke with a vicious tone, glaring into nothing. I hunched and sank into the cold, frozen park bench beneath me as the owner of the concerned voice sat down with a sigh. I recognized the roughed up, ripped denim jeans to my right. I saw his hands shoved into his sweatshirt pockets, twitching with anxiety as he tried again. I knew this guy wasn't going to give up.

"Gee...We're best fri - " I slammed my fists down on my book, snapping my head up with a glare cutting him off with a serpent tongue soaked in poison.

"No, were Frank. Were best friends. Don't forget, you're the one who left." I shot in defense, my hands flipping my book, a loud slap echoed through the empty space between us as I jumped up. "I don't want to hear that ever come out of your mouth again, Iero. Ever. You were the only one I fucking had, the one I could count on. But you know what? All of that fucking changed when you walked away that night, leaving me at that mother fucking hell hole."

My chest was heaving, dark hair covering most of my face as my hood pushed it forward, causing me to look like a rabid animal. I was leaning forward, watching Frank like a hawk hunting his prey. His stance grew stiff and defensive, all together, scared. His eyes became glassy in the midnight moonlight, tears brimming the corners of his eyes. At first, it didn't phase me. Seeing Frank cry would have been just the perfect therapy for what I felt he deserved. As I waited, watching in amusement, his face seemed to fall, his whole body falling as he slouched in defeat. 

As Frank fell forward, catching his head in his hands, he truly looked small, He looked vulnerable and broken. Shattered like a glass. And the worst part of all? It was my fault. I was the one who dropped him. I was the one who didn't catch him. In fact, I was the one to push him off the counter, off the edge and caused him to collapse completely.

Absolutely nothing phased me at that point in time. My anger still burned bright and echoed throughout me. I took a deep breath, shouting at the top of my lungs, willing to not let anything be sugar coated in this one. "Frank mother-fucking Iero. I never want to fucking see you again! Ever since that night, I finally realized that I don't need you, in fact, I don't fucking want you!" My words burned with firing passion as I continued, watching Frank weaken and crumble with every word. "You may have been my friend once, but now nothing you're to me. I don't even know why I tried, why I fought for you. Frank Iero, I wish I could erase everything we ever did, said, or laughed about together. Y'Know what? I wish you never would have fucking came into my life! You say you want me happy? Well do me this one thing, disappear. Forever!"

Frank looked up, tears streaming down his face as he clenched his jaw. Before I could say anything more, he stood up. His cheeks were red with the mixture of the cold air and the freezing tears and still, all I felt was satisfaction. He was small at the moment, absolutely nothing left after I'd demolished everything he had. His hair fell into his eyes as his chest heaved, trying to force air into his lungs.

I felt his eyes on me once more before he bit his lip, not even bothering to wipe his eyes as he spoke. His voice was broken, detached and barely audible. I had to fight against the wind to hear exactly what he said. I notice a small smug look as he forced a smile on his face, nodding. "Consider it done Gerard. Consider it done." He stated, catching me off guard. And with that, Frank turned on his heals, pulling his hood up as he took off. He soon blended in with the night, escaping from my veiw in the midnight sky.

His words continued to play in my head as I stood, completely dumbfounded at the moment. I closed my eyes, trying to grasp on to reality and to myself. All that I could see was the broken, beaten expression on Frank's face and that sorrow tone in his voice. 'Consider it done.'

I looked up, the night mocking me as I choked up. I realized soon enough that I was shaking. Trembling actually and I still couldn't shake the feeling. I stared blankly up at the sky for a long time before finally collapsing completely on the ground. I curled into a tight ball, my eyes fluttering closed until I escaped the real world and entered the world of my fantasies, my dreams, and worst nightmares.