It Is a Woman Thing

Good, not Enough

As a woman, you should never be successful. No, scratch that. As a woman, you should never be more successful than a man. Nah, this isn't right. As a woman, you should never be successful in such a way that it offends a man's ego. Aha! This is just about right.

Men, for some reasons cannot handle the fact that a woman is successful and isn't conforming to societal standards. As a woman, do what you must but it shouldn't hurt a man's ego. You should not be better than he is. You can't be better. Women are not wired that way. So they say.

Which is why for every success story of a woman, climbing top positions, it is met with an uproar; often times attributed to negative things. A woman gets promoted at work - “She is probably dating the boss”, “she slept her way there”, “her partner probably made the recommendation”, “her father is probably a socialite, he helped with the connection”.

They go on and on and saying this things, forgetting the fact that she might have actually worked hard enough, put in sweat and blood to be in that position, possessing the necessary skills and having what it takes to actually be where she is. A woman cannot handle such responsibility - they say.

It is crazy how when a man gets promoted or starts up something, it is just congratulations and how he is on his way to breaking generational curses. It is so funny that these men complain that women sleep their way to the top but these same persons would resort to cheap blackmail and pull whatever stunts there is in the book to get positions, undeserving if you even ask me.

It gets worse when these men bring this mindset to their workplace where they have female bosses. The lack of disrespect that they show towards her is crazy. These men cannot bear to take orders from a woman or can even stand to see a woman contribute intelligently to conversations, even better than they do. They would ensure to frustrate her until she might lose it.

A woman doing the same thing a male in her position would do is often times misinterpreted. She giving out orders is being authoritative, but for a man, he is leading. She gives instructions and she is rude and when she doesn't take shit, she is proud and condescending. But a man, he is doing what needs to be done. They cannot stand a woman calling the shots or taking lead. Alu! An abomination.

Ever noticed that women are raised to not eye top positions or to not be desire to be there and push her limits? She is to be content with the position she is in, I mean, she should be happy she is even allowed to work. From the home, she is usually sidelined, giving the the jobs deemed important to the males. At school, we know how it works. The class representative has to be male. A woman cannot lead an entire class. She is incapable of doing so. She is the helpmate. It gets crazier when you realize that women are not even allowed to contest for certain positions. They do not even pass the primary stage. A woman might be good even the best, but not enough to lead a bunch of men.

This has discouraged a lot of women from even trying even when they know that they are capable. The things that goes on, the battles she would have to fight. She might as well have no interest at all. It gets worse where it is even a male dominated field. Who are you kidding? She dare not even think of it or even make it known.

Women are even most times underpaid for the same job she does with a male in the same position; even a higher position. Why? I still don't get it. She is not given the respect she deserves and when a woman eventually decides to be where she wants, she does any and everything to be there. The ruthlessness is on a whole different level.

And then, to the women who are denied opportunities because they refuse to play by the rules; to give tit for tat, to have each others' backs scratched - regardless of whatever work they put in, the sacrifices, the sweat, the energy, giving up all that they have, they would get sidelined till they give in to the biddings. They are never given the recognition that they deserve. The man takes it all. There is no escaping from this. It takes a lot to be able to resist.

This one I was present to see it happen. That a man boldly stood up to say that whatever a woman owned was handed to her by a man. It could be any man - her father, husband, uncle, brother, partner, boss, the guy that knows someone. The irk is that he said it is handed to them; they do not work for it. It is simply given to them on a platter of gold, they are undeserving if such positions. I had never been angrier at any comments. I wanted to speak up and sometimes, I regret not doing so. I have never looked at that man in a good light and for every guy that agreed to that statement.

To that woman struggling to get to the top, doing what she knows how to do best, making waves and calling the shots, they might try to knock you down. Don't let them win. They will talk; you don't have to say anything. Silence them with your wine and achievements. Stay resilient. Their negative words shouldn't get to you. Don't stick to the societal norms, break barriers and stay winning.

And to those people, the men that cannot stand a woman's success; a successful woman, leading and making waves, be prepared to have your egos bruised in a long run. The very same men who complain and whine about women sleeping their way to the top are the same men that would frustrate these women for failing to conform. We see you and you will get what's coming.

No one should be getting positions, or holding certain offices because of gender but because they have proven to be able to handle such positions.

So next time, instead of saying, “women sleep their way to the top”, say that “men withhold promotions until they receive sexual favours”, because that is what it really is. Or better still, say nothing at all.

Xoxo,
Linny. 🦋