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Junhao - panic attack

ppl - Jun & Minghao
prompt(s) - panic attack

Jun's pov.
For the last few weeks I've been really anxious. My anxiety levels are so high that some days I can't really get out of bed, and considering it's our group month to just chill and have fun with no schedules, I'm not having as much fun as I thought I would.

I was planning on cuddling with my boyfriend and hanging out with my members for four full weeks with nonstop fun and relaxation but apparently my brain has other plans.

"Hey junnie, are you ok bubba?" Minghao says to me, sitting down next to me on the small bench outside of our group vacation house. Joshua and Scoups got it together for us and we were so exited; there's a pool and so much fucking space, that includes a room for just me and my boyfriend.

He wraps an arm around my slim waist and leans his head on my shoulder gently while I begin to speak my mind, well, kinda.

"Yea I'm ok baby, I'm just fine.. just a little tired." He nodded before closing his eyes slowly as he kept his pretty head rested on my broad shoulder. But minutes later our peace was interrupted innocently by an exited Hoshi. "Guys dinner's ready, we're having Seokmin's steak and rice!" He said before running back inside towards the kitchen. We both chuckle at our dongsaengs antics, well, my dongsaeng. I still sometimes can't believe Minghao is younger than that goofball, but so be it.

.

Minghao's pov.

It was the middle of dinner when Juns leg started shaking frantically, almost out of nowhere as minutes ago we were all laughing at Hoshi yet again, crazy hyung..

I get lost in thought before I feel my boyfriend's hand rest on my thigh, gripping it almost desperately.

"Honey are you ok? Talk to be sweets," I say gently into his ear. He gently leans his chin on my shoulder and whispers into my ear, "panic."

I immediately get the hint, taking his hand into mine as we both stand up. I let Jun go seconds later as I'm sure he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of our members, of course there is nothing embarrassing about anxiety and expressing your feelings, I just know how he gets sometimes; shy and in need of some comfort.

Jeonghan along with half of the table look up at me and I smile sheepishly, not liking some of the looks on their faces. I clear my throat before speaking, "one second guys, I think me and Junnie are gonna clock out.. we're both exhausted for whatever reason." They all nod in unison and go back to their conversations as I sneak away from the table. I hear a few people shout goodnights and "sweet dreams" at me and I give them a quick "thank you, goodnight" back.

Once I got to Jun and I's shared room, I saw my baby sitting on the side of the bed with his head in his hands trying to catch his breath.

I quickly closed the door behind me and sped walked to our shared queen sized bed, sitting down slowly to refrain from scaring him even more. "hey honey, can you look up at me sweets?" I talked slowly and softly while embracing him in my slender arms, pressing gentle kisses on the back of his neck. I move my head as he slowly raises his sweat covered head to face me. His eyes showed a look of desperation and fear, and I had no idea why.

"Hey bubba, yea it's me, it's Minghao.. can you try to calm your breath a little bit? Breathe in nice and slow, and out for a few seconds, ok?" He gives me a small nod as he collapses into my embrace, almost forcing me to hold him close to my chest to prevent him from falling any other way.

.

The last ten minutes felt like ten hours if I'm being honest. I hate seeing the love of my life in so much pain, it almost makes me tear up because I know the horrors of panic attacks and anxiety attacks; anxiety in general. It's debilitating and exhausting, I wish I could help him more than I do now, but all I can do is my best.

Right now Jun and I are cuddling on our shared bed, not bothering to go under the covers because we both have an issue with wearing outside clothes on the sheets due to germs and such.

"Baby, do you want to take a shower? Or just change and snuggle..?" I spoke softly, trying to keep the peace that has been flowing through the air for the past couple minutes. He untangles his hand from the back of my neck and holds up a number two, signalling to me that he wanted the second choice which I was thankful for, I'm also exhausted and I would love to just cuddle my baby to sleep.

"Ok bubs, can I let go of you and get up? Just so that we can change ok?" Jun was a bit reluctant to letting me leave, even if it was just for mere seconds, but after some convincing I got up calmly and made my way to our walk-in closet. I quickly picked out some sweatpants for Jun as he likes to sleep without a shirt and a random t-shirt with some shorts for myself.

I changed quickly and sped walked out of the closet to be met with my boyfriend silently letting tears pour out of his pretty eyes.

This is what I was expecting if I'm honest, I know he's always sensitive and emotionally wrecked after extreme panic attacks, and though this one in particular wasn't so torturous on the outside, only God knows what was running through his head during those long minutes.

"Shh, shh baby, calm down, everything's ok.. I promise honey." I lay behind him on the bed and gently bring him into my hold, his back against my chest and my arms wrapped around his waist. I gently run my hand over his lower belly for comfort and kiss the back of his neck; it's his favourite thing.

"Do you wanna get changed?" I whispered, to which he responded with a head shake. "Ok baby, I understand, do you at least want to take off your shirt so you won't get too hot?" And to that he answered with a small nod before slowly sitting up and slipping his oversized shirt over his broad shoulders.

I guide him down with soft hands on his waist and bring him back into my hold, my hand going back to his cute tummy, gently tracing his defined abs which are now a little bit less noticeable as he's eaten throughout the course of the day. I kiss my palm and put it back on his tummy, "you're beautiful, don't let your pretty head run in circles, ok? Just relax for me.." I whispered gently.