svt bxb oneshots/sickfics

Verkwan - binge eating

ppl - vernon & seungkwan
prompt(s) - binge eating
a/n - TW for disordered eating behavior, pvrging and things of that nature. If this affects you, I strongly advise you to not continue reading. I'm always here to talk, take care of yourselves lovely's <3

vernon's pov.
I've started struggling with disordered eating but mostly binge eating a few months ago. Now I don't binge because I want to make my body look different; I eat how I normally do, but my emotions get in the way.

I hate my emotions. They make my life a living hell. They control me more than I control them, sometimes I even feel numb to them, like I'm not even thinking. But I keep eating. I eat before meals, I eat after meals, I eat in between meals. I eat too much for my body to handle, and it takes a toll of everything of my being.

It's exhausting to deal with this shit, especially in Korea. The beauty standard is so fucked up, but again it's not about body image. I don't have an issue with gaining a little weight, I have an issue with the constant stomach pain, the bloating, the countless washroom trips, the feeling like I need to throw up but I can't, so I end up forcing myself to. It makes me feel sluggish and tired 24/7 and I can't do it anymore.

I can't stop eating. And even my members have noticed.

seungkwan's pov.

I walk into the kitchen to see my boyfriend eating those yummy sugar cookies Joshua made for us a couple days ago. All of us have had a couple and we all really enjoy them, but it seems like vernon has been enjoying them a bit too much. Now not that eating multiple cookies is bad, because it's not, but he looks almost sad while eating them.

When you eat cookies it should be enjoyable of course! But my baby doesn't seem to be having too much fun.

"hey bonon, what are you munching on?" I try to make small conversation with light hearted words that I know he loves; cute nicknames and silly words that might be able to lift his mood.

"Oh, auhh, um nothing, just a cookie or two.." he said in a low tone, his body language looking almost sheepish. I move behind him while humming a small sound of acknowledgement, resting my hands on his waist through his big graphic t-shirt. I notice him flinch a bit and I feel his side abs contracting a bit.

I move back in front of him to see his face in a pained expression trying to get down another cookie. "Ok ok ok bubba, let's not eat another one ok? I can see your cute tummy peaking through the shirt a little bit.. I know that shirt is big so don't say it's just because it's tight on you," He looks at me with emotionless eyes as I take the half eaten cookie out of his hand and toss it quickly in the trash.

I take his hands gently and guide him to our shared room before sitting him down and closing the door so we can have some privacy from our members.

I sit gently next to him and bring both of our bodies down to lay flat on the large bed, littered with a bunch of blankets and a couple pillows. I bring him into my arms as he stays laying on his back, laying his hands gently on his clearly bloated and full tummy.

"Honey, is it ok if I check your tummy a bit? From here it looks pretty swollen and I don't want you in pain.. we will talk about why you were eating a bunch of cookies later, but now I want to make you comfortable, ok?" He nods hesitantly before slowly moving his hands from his stomach to lay beside him, the hand closest to me gently grabbing the inside of my thigh as a form of contact; we both enjoy physical touch a lot in times of need.

"Ok baby, 'm just gonna move your shirt up a bit.." I gently bring his shirt up to the middle of his stomach and I'm instantly met with a small, yet a bit of a big, bloated stomach. I press down on it gently and I hear vernon hiss in pain and wither around a bit. "Ok ok shh, it's ok honey, ok I'm done now. Does your stomach hurt?" He gives me a small nod and squeezes my thigh a bit more. I move my hand to gently rub his bloated stomach in small light circles to try and ease the pain. He snuggles into my side even more as I feel him begin to relax a bit.

.

About 20 minutes later me and vernon are laying in our bed, I'm playing with his hair as he listens to music in his earbuds, cuddled up to my chest. His hands are in a position almost like a paw which makes me smile slightly at his antics. I move my head down a little bit to kiss at his knuckles, noticing now that they have small red marks on them. I frown, recognizing the look of the marks.

My old friend used to purge her food in means to lose weight. Now I'm really worried. What's going on inside of your pretty head baby.. I think to myself as I continue kissing the small red patches on this hand.

.

Waking up in a daze, I slowly open my eyes to see the prettiest face in the world.

I smile and move a bit closer to kiss his nose before picking up the phone beside his head to check the time. I begin to wake him up as it's already noon. "Honey, let's wake up now, ok? C'mon, wake up baby.." I whisper, running my hand through his hair and kissing his nose once more.

I see him open his beautiful eyes and I look into them, seeing.. well.. not much. I sign internally as he seems just as empty and depressed as yesterday, and honestly, it's been the same for a while now.

I haven't mentioned it because I thought he would come to me, but I guess I'll figure out the mystery right now. It's a calm atmosphere so hopefully that will lessen the stress of the conversation. "Honey, I know you're a bit groggy but can I ask you a couple questions..?"

vernon's pov.

I still my breathing a bit when my perfect boyfriend asks me is he can talk to me; ask me a couple questions. You would think I just saw someone commit a crime at my reaction. I'm just so scared of what he'll think of me..

"sweets, we don't have to talk if you don't want to.. but I see too many signs to make me think that you are ok right now. You can tell me anything bubs, I promise I'll love you just the same if not more."

I smile lightly at his words. That short blurb of words from my boyfriend's mouth makes me feel like I can actually tell him anything; I can trust him, I can always trust him. I slowly rest my head back on his chest and nod softly, indication that it's ok to talk. "Ok sweety, start whenever you're ready.. I'll listen. I promise. Even if it takes hours."

I move my hand underneath his think shirt to rest on his tummy and I start to make small shapes with my fingers. I feel his muscles contract a little which makes me smile.

I begin to tell him everything, literally everything that's been going on. The overeating, the heavy effect  my emotions have on me, the force that it takes to purge whenever I eat too much, how I almost feel numb, my stomach and how it literally hurts 24/7. When I said that he started to rub my stomach again which I found cute and helpful. But.. I told him every single thing that was weighing on me.

And when I finished he immediately pulled me into a heartfelt kiss; slow and passionate.

"Honey, thank you so much for telling me.. I can't imagine what this has been like for you. We will get through this together, ok? I'll help you, through thick and thin. You will feel better and I will make sure you feel loved and relaxed 24/7 if it's the last thing I ever do."

I smile at his protective antics and pull him into another kiss, swinging my arms around his neck and playing with the small hairs at the base of his head.

"I love you vernon, never forget that, ok?"