A roaring storm from within [Kazuha x Scara (trans)]

12.

The whisper in his ear made a shiver go down scaramouche his spine as he froze in place almost, a light blush covering his cheeks.
Speechless for a moment he turns slightly just enough so he could push Kazuha away so he would be so close to him anymore. "Whatever. Believe what you want to believe I don't care. Just leave me alone because at the end of the day you will abandon me like everybody else"

Kazuha smile remains on his face and he continues to lean on a elbow while laying on his side looking down at Scaramouche "and I keep telling you I am not going anywhere. What makes you so afraid for such affection? What makes it that you can't accept it?" He calmly asks in a non judging manner. He truly wants to know why Scaramouche has these mood changes that he does like it and then he does not.

The other closes his eyes for a moment taking a deep breath in and then out "because everybody leaves me. I know I keep saying that but it is true. I will admit I have these...odd feelings for you and they grow stronger each day the longer you are with me. But you won't...care for me if you know who or what I am"

Kazuha remains silent not interrupting once. He listens to everything Scaramouche has to say with great attention and he would wait patiently for the other to stop speaking so he could speak up.
When he did speak up Scara spoke up once more making him pause with what he had wanted to say.
He listens again and again as Scara adds more to his troubled thoughts but Kazuha would gently place his hand on Scara his hip which made him go silent.
The blond would turn Scara over so he would lay with his back facing him any more before he would place that hand on the other his cheek to make the other look at him. His touch so gentle and feather light that the blue haired young man easily could move away...
yet he didnt...
Their eyes locked together and Kazuha continues to have this same gentle smile on his face "whomever you are or whatever your truth is that is fine by me. The feelings you are feeling are love...you can deny it of course and I would understand but know I feel this for you as well. I care for you and I wouldn't want anything to happen to you, for you to feel unsafe or anything of the sorts.
Awnser my very honestly...
Do you feel safe with me?"

"...yes"

"Do you want my love?"

"Yes"

"For me to be with you and touch you and you touch me when you need affection?"

"Yes"

"Do you trust me?"

"..."
That damned question...
All the betrayals that lead to so much trouble and trauma. Scaramouche doesn't want to get betrayed again so he looks away for a moment, thinking, thinking for a very long time.
He truly wants somebody he can trust yet his past refrains him from doing so.
He looks back up at Kazuha who never layed a wrong hand on him, who never betrayed him or gave any sign of betrayal.
"I would want to trust you one hundred percent but I can only trust you a little...for now..."

That is very reasonable and understandable.
Kazuha leans down and presses a kiss on the other his forehead as a thank you for awnsering his questions. "Are you truly fine though? Like that drug didn't have any effect on you?"

Closing his eyes to take in the kiss on his forehead that he enjoyed he would slowly open his eyes to look up at the other once more "No. A little aphrodisiac won't do a single thing to me. I just thought that...if I acted I was drugged or drunk it would be easier for me to get over the nervous feeling"

"Nervous for what?"

As Scaramouche his cheeks darken slightly Kazuha can get a pretty good idea of what the other had wanted or perhaps was craving for but he waits and wishes to hear it from the other his lips.
"I wanted for us to...kiss again...I quite enjoy that feeling"
Scaramouche truly wishes he could bash his head so hard to a wall or floor because of how mushy and how gentle he was sounding...
how desperate he sounds...
it disgusts him.