Teachers Tapestry

Eleven

Wednesday finally came, and I was already hating the week. Mainly because it was so far a week full of teachers giving us work and piles of homework.

The one good thing about a Wednesdays is I only have compulsory subjects, maths, english and my sciences. So inevitably my day ends somewhat earlier than the normal three forty-five.

This morning, Colton has told me that he's planning on going to see my dad today. I'm glad he's going but I don't know if I can yet.

I know he's gone to get the help he needs but the hurt he caused me lingers on my skin every day. It always feels like no matter how much I try and pretend it never happened, it lingers on me.

I can't love the man I once called my dad, to me he is a father. Simply because it's easy for anyone to father a child but it's hard to be a dad.

Lately as I try and adjust to this new normal we have going for us, I can't sleep very much. Even at Zoë's house, I was always the last one asleep.

It's like events of the last two years are coming back to me. I keep anticipating his arrival home as the smell of alcohol roams through the air.

I'm waiting for his cold large hands to hold me down as I disassociate from everything for however long it will take him to leave.

I'm waiting for a morning full of smiles like I didn't spend the night crying. Or soothing a pain he had caused me.

I keep waiting. And I also wonder if he's actually getting better. What if he comes back and sees something that triggers him to go back to his old habits?

It's just too much to think about. It's all happened too fast.

"Ready for english?" Zoë asked beside me as we sat in the library for our free period, which had sadly come to an end.

"I guess." I shrugged.

"You seem down Letty, what's up?" She asked as we packed up.

"Nothing, I'm just tired." I said, technically it isn't a lie, I am genuinely tired.

"Are you sure?" Zoë asked me softly.

"I'm sure Zo, really." I smiled at her.

"English?" I added as she sent me a small smile back.

We both walked towards miss Fairbourne's class but it was off. I feel like deep down Zoë knew something was wrong.

Once we arrived at English we sat in our seats and I joked about our weekend together and it seemed to lighten our moods a lot which was nice because finally the attention was off my mood.

Students started trickling in as they drifted into conversation of their own and soon the class was filled with loud chatter.

"Alright. Quiet. Sit in your seats and take out your a piece of paper." Miss Fairbourne raised her voice slightly to get all our attention.

We did just that and she walked to stand in front of her desk leaning against it.

"Okay, since this week we've been reading and studying our books a bit, today will be different. I want you all to partner up. Groups of two only. You'll be debating." She said and everyone got into pairs and pushed desks together.

I inevitably went with Zoë.

"We'll be starting with a difficult topic. Teen drinking. I want everyone to my right to find a reason why it's bad and everyone to my left to tell me why it's acceptable. Seven minutes to come up with your pitches, go." She said as she went back behind her desk and took a seat.