Teachers Tapestry

Twenty-nine

Saturday was an interesting day. Zoë ended up staying at mine up until yesterday evening.

After Zoë told me all about her plan she had in place for me I instantly wanted to regret my decision of taking her stupid advice.

But there was no backing out now.

Zoë and I bought toys. Okay, I didn't touch a thing but Zoë did and they got delivered to my house yesterday afternoon.

She gave me crash course on how to use it all and gave me tips on what exactly to do, if it ever got to this point.

I hate to admit but after listening to her whole thing and all the ideas she had it made sense.

Zoë has more experience in this than any of us do so I guess I trust her.

I texted miss Fairbourne this morning asking if I could go over tonight and she agreed, thankfully. Because otherwise this would all be for nothing.

I still had a bit of time before I had to go and was on the phone with Zoë and Birdie.

"Do you know how insane this all sounds, especially because she's older than us." Birdie said through the phone.

"Only by a couple years and it's not that insane, right Letty?" Zoë said.

"I mean at first I thought the same thing but I don't know what else to do. I still think I played it too far. What If I go and then back out at the last second? Ive never done this before." I said.

"You could be mature and talk to her. The obvious answer." Birdie said.

Through all of this, realistically the last two days, Birdie had been really reasonable and I kind of agree with her but my dumbass has to open my mouth and go with Zoë's advice.

"Why would she do that when you could have the power over it? I mean what she did is fucked up. You don't just go from kissing your—whatever you guys are— to kissing your ex hours later. Thats hoe behaviour." Zoë said through the speakers.

"And this isn't? Letty it's not too late to back out of this and be mature about it all. Don't rush this bit, you'll have to cross the bridge together." Birdie said.

"First of all B, it isn't hoe behaviour if you're simply just given what's owed to a person." Zoë said.

"I feel like it's too late." I said looking at the toy on my bed that sticking out of my bag slightly. "I mean, I already took it too far with the photo. So..." I trailed off fixing my bag in case anyone was to come in.

"Okay but you looked really hot in the photo." Birdie admitted.

"See I told her the same thing." Zoë said.

After I looked at it longer yesterday, I did look quite hot, I looked gorgeous and even if it was out of my comfort zone, I like that she got a little possessive and told me to take it down.

But I'm not ready to admit that yet.

"Just go through with it. It's the best you can do. And then she'll actually be begging. That's the aim isn't it?" Zoë asked on the other end.

"I guess but it's still terrifying." I said.

"If you get scared and feel like you're going to back out, think about how much better you are than Zara." Zoë said.

She was right. I feel like I need to be better than Zara. I have to show her I'm better than Zara. It's the main reason why I'm angry at her, because she made me want to compete with Zara and let miss Fairbourne know I'm better than her. I can be better and more.