In My Feelings

Happy Birthday

why now?

why did you text me and said "happy belated 20th birthday" to me?

where were you on my 19th birthday?

did you finally realized that you've lost something that could've been a long lasting friendship?

i waited for you to wish me last year,

but instead you have forgotten about me so fast.

it's like the friendship we had was never important nor memorable to you.

have you forgotten what you had said to me when it was the beginning of the year 2022?

you said and i quote "i know i'll always be here just like u are. i know we won't go anywhere, we'll always stay the same."

i will never ever forget what you said to me. 

i wanna text you so bad and tell you how much my life has changed over the year.

about how badly life has treated me and at the same time how good life can be too. 

do you even think about me? the way i've thought about you ever since the day you threw me off of being a part of your life?

i've hated the fact that you did that to me, you have no idea how much i've changed after that.

i've never been hurt by such friend before, especially after being so dedicated and committed to this friendship that we had.

i thought we could make it work.

just like the way we have made it work during high school.

we would always text each other once in a week to talk about our feelings and how the week has been for us.

sometimes we would even find time to go out and talk about it considering we were in different schools.

the fact that i was so tired from my trainings and yet i still find time to go out with you just so i could talk about how exhausting my trainings can be.

or have you forgotten about all of that?

all the sacrifices we both made for each other, 

don't you think it should mean something at least?

maybe its just me.

maybe i'm too obsessed with the idea of having a friendship like that again.

but the thing is, 

why did you wished me a happy birthday?