Outer Banks Imagines

Rafe - "I don't know how to love you..."

Description: You're Rafe best friend and have been in love with him for the longest time.
Warnings:
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My eyes followed Rafe as he made his way around the pool stopping now and then to talk to one of the many people at the party.  He casually smiled at people, that smile that could make any girl melt. He quickly said goodbye to the group he was talking to and moved on to the next. A burning sensation started to build in my chest as a blonde from the new group placed her hand on Rafe's chest exaggerating a laugh I could hear from here. I hate to admit that I was a cliche the best friend in love with their best friend. One-sided love, something that would most likely never be returned. I couldn't help it. I wish I could. I wish it wasn't a cliche. My jaw clenched as she continued to touch his chest. Rafe did not seem to care. Why would he? He was single it's not like he had any loyalties to anyone.
"You know if you keep staring at her like that a little more you may actually get her head to explode" A voice broke the silence that had surrounded me. Splitting through the barrier, music flooding back in. I turned to see Sarah take a seat on the empty pool lounge.
"I don't know what you mean?" I lied staring down at the cup in my hand that had become a little squished by the grip I had on it.  I lifted my gaze back up trying my hard not to stare daggers back over at the group.
"Oh Okay" Sarah laughed a knowing smile on her face. "I can tell you know Rafe doesn't have any interest in her" Sarah added looking over at the group. I couldn't bring myself to.
"I don't care if he did" I kept up with my lie. I still hadn't brought myself to look in the direction of the pair. Sarah didn't say anything for a while but stayed sitting opposite watching the party as I had.
"Anyway I'm going to find Topper" Sarah stood up. I looked up from my drink nodding at her as she made her way towards Topper and his friends.

"What did she want?" I turned to see Rafe standing on the other side of where Sarah had left.
"Nothing. What did Miss Blondie want?" I placed my cup on the floor looking up at Rafe, confusion crossing his face.
"Miss Blondie?" Rafe was either puzzled or playing dumb. I'm not sure which one pissed me off more.
"Her" I looked over at the girl, Rafe following my gaze to the girl that he had just been standing with. The girl whose hand had been all over his chest. She would occasionally glance over at us, still wearing a flirty smile on her face. 
"Oh nothing we were just talking" Rafe smiled taking the empty seat Sarah had left.
"Just talking..." I scoffed looking away.
"Yeah," Rafe said plainly.
"That's why she had her hand all over your chest. Leaning into you. God could she be more desperate" I snapped surprising even myself. Guilt building inside of me but jealousy was still more prevalent.
"y/n what is this about? This isn't like you" I knew he was right. Maybe it was the years of hiding how I felt. Maybe it was seeing him with all these different girls. God, how could I let this jealousy get to me?  Any girl he was around became a rival. I would pick them apart and compare myself to them. Also, how could Rafe not tell I was in love with him? Everyone else seemed to see it. I know he wasn't that naive. Did he get a kick out of it?
"You know what leave it" I stood up knocking the cup I had placed on the floor.  I had to take a breather. I had to get away from the party. My face was heating up from the heat or the embarrassment of blowing up at Rafe. I pushed past people back into the house and up the Cameron's stairs. I made my way down the empty corridor to the spare bedroom that was always set up for me.

"Y/N" Rafe reached the top of the stairs. My hand reached the door handle. I turned to face the boy, he was still as confused as before. "What is up with you?" Rafe took slow steps towards me as if he was scared to spook me. "We are best friends we tell each other everything" I didn't even think.
"I love you" It tumbled out of my mouth without a second thought. My breath caught in my throat as I watched Rafe. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. I waited for him to say something, anything. Nothing came. I didn't wait any longer before pushing past him. That was it. Years of friendship gone. He didn't say anything. I couldn't stay here. I made my way down the stairs and quickly to the front door.

It was a twenty-minute walk home. By the time I got home, my face was soaked from my tears. It felt like I couldn't breathe. I was thankful my parents were already in bed. I kicked my shoes off by my bedroom door and made my way over to my own bed. I didn't bother changing but rather pulled the blanket around me and tried to sleep.

Five days had passed and I had hardly left my room. The first day my parents had left me alone just thinking it was a hangover. The second day my mom had come in trying to get me to come and eat something. The third day was my dad's day but he wasn't able to get me to leave my room. On the fourth day, they both tried to no avail. The first day my phone had received messages but I hadn't checked any of them. By the second it was dead and I wouldn't charge it. I don't know if I was hiding because I was embarrassed or hurt. Maybe a bit of both. Day five had slowly come to an end, neither of my parents had made any attempts to get me out. I sat on my bed my head resting against my knees as I watched the sun slowly set out my window. A light orange replaced the baby blue from earlier.
"y/n" my mom slowly opened the door peeking her head in. I didn't bother to answer her but rather stayed staring out at the window. "You have a guest"
"I don't want to see anyone" I spoke, my voice coming out quieter than I expected. My mom sighed before slowly shutting the door. Silence returned to the room. My room lighting up an orange colour with the sun. I was dragged out of my thoughts by the door slowly opening again.
"Mom, I said I didn't want to see anyone" I turned to the door expecting my mom to be there but was shocked to see Rafe. "That applies to you" I turned away from the boy. I didn't want him to see how much not getting a reply from him hurt.
"So I don't get to say anything?" Rafe slowly walked into my room letting the door shut behind him. I stared ahead keeping him in my peripheral. He took a few steps closer to my bed. "look y/n..." He started staring down at the floor.  "I don't know how to love you..." He made his way closer to the bed. I knew it what was I expecting some sort of love confession? " I don't know how to love anyone" I  furrowed my brows turning my head to look at the boy as he slowly took a seat on the bed. "It wasn't something I was raised with" I could see the pain behind his eyes. I knew a little of how Rafe was raised, always second, never the favourite no matter what he did. I didn't know much about Ward's and his previous wife's relationship. Rafe didn't speak about his mom. "but I'm willing to learn"
"What?" I was taken back by what Rafe had said.
"I like you y/n but I never said anything as I don't know how to love you but I'm willing to learn"

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Sorry for the long wait and the shitty update but I hope you guys liked it
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