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Report on incident redacted
General blight and his personal mtf unit code name janitors were dispatched to redacted to deal with a cult the resurrected eternal life cult they had sum how gotten a ahold of one of the many stolen scp 008 vials aka zombie virus after dealing with the cult unfortunately the village of redacted was completely destroyed and they had to cleanse the whole village and most of the close farms a cover story was made to cover up what actually happened in the village.
There was a report of a group of zombies in a cemetery in the outskirts of a small town called redacted it seemed like a prank but with how deadly scp 008 is and how bad it would be if an outbreak happened in a small town rather than a very small village in the middle of nowhere general blight was not taking any chances.
When the mobile task force janitors arrived disguised as a police swat team they found out that it was a party screening of in their opinion the best black and white zombie movie fallowed up by the evil dead marathon unseasoned version and every one was required to attempt to dress up as a zombie , demon or a zombie hunter after coming up with a cover story about someone robbing a bank and they needed to check faces of the zombies because the robbers had on zombie masks.
Afterwards general blight got hungry and went to a restaurant done well and after eating paid and left a tip and was headed to his car when He came up and asked general blight if he wanted anything and general blight with his back to him said no nine times and on the tenth time the salesman got in front of general blight and opened his case and at that moment general blight had drawn his side arm and was about to convince the salesman to go bother somebody else and he saw the yellow light and was compelled to say what he wanted which was that there was two of him because there was so much events happening and he couldn't be in multiple places at once.
The salesman smiled and said wish granted and closed the case.
General blight shook his head and tried to stop the salesman but fell unconscious and when he came to there was another man sleeping on the ground looking just like him not wasting any time called for backup and janitors arrived shortly to the scene and one of the members said
wait how do we know if he's the the real general blight then the other blight woke up smiling 😊 and said hay guys what's up.
The former captain of the unit Frank the tank said that the one standing up is the real one cuff the other one.
General Blight : how did you know that I was the real one?
Frank: he smiled and I know you're smiles and even after you get some with your wife you don't smile that wide.
The peace was shattered right then when multiple victims of the traveling salesman started happening victim number two was a train conductor who had his mouth removed he was given a scp 500 panacea and anesthetics and sent home.
Then in the park a homeless man after talking with the salesman turned into a money statue, and tens ,twenty's and fifty, were blowing away in the wind he after all the money came off the statue more kept growing he was moved to site 7 for containment.
Next a kid got his metal gear toy turned real we managed to confiscate it before he got into the cab and destroy his school. The mech was given to mtf Tau 9 aka belligerent bodyguards as a last line of defense for Cthulhu to better protect her from her ever growing groups of cults especially after the whole cum transportation pentagram spell thing incident.
And the second to least there was an old man who wanted to get to his roots he was turned into a huge red wood tree. He was moved to site redacted
And finally group of basketball players said that they wanted to be in the nba they were turned into basketball's. They were dead
The place was contained and every witness was given aesthetics. And the incident was covered up.
General blight was trying to find a way to kill the salesman when another Scientist suggested about questioning another salesman that has reality bending properties scp 1879 after gathering twelve d class they waited at an house scp 1879 frequently visits.
When scp 1879 arrived the d class read the script saying that they will pay the price for him to make his quota if he answers there questions.
1879 reluctantly agreed because he was tired of having his boss on his ass and wanted to know what the questions were.
The question was if he knew who this person was and if there was anyway to kill him?
1879: oh that's redacted that man is a legend in our little company he found the one man in Pompeii that wished for everyone else to die so he could get the best sleep ever and then everyone died because he made the volcano erupt and can you believe he's just doing things now for fun?
And with us you have to ask for the impossible things and that's really hard considering we get most of our stuff from weird core plus if you manage to get a ungrantable wish we lose our skin and then we are vulnerable to conventional weapons.
Please kill that guy it's because of him that we are all doing this and worst of all he always stole my promotion six hundred years in a row and after he dies I'll retire and you will never see me or any of us in the company again now then I'll need my pay mint he then left and everyone except d 7008 was dead when questioned he said that he needed eleven virgin souls and this was the only time that he was grateful for his mom/dad stealing his v card before he brutally murdering them
End of report
General Blight personal note have research team make ungratable wishes.
