Garden of Words (Compilation) | Completed

13 - I Couldn't Help It

Dedicated to: Flowerrry_Sammy

Church.

Hindi ko alam na rito ko pala matatagpuan ang babaeng matagal ko ng hinahanap.

Every Sunday, I go to church out of habit, a routine I've followed since childhood.

But lately, there’s been a new anticipation in my routine, there’s already a flutter in my chest that’s got nothing to do with the sermon or the hymns.

It’s because of a girl.

Caliah

I noticed her for the first time a few months ago. Lagi siyang nakaupo sa unahan ng simbahan. Sometimes she's the one who sang the psalms. She sang the psalms with a voice so pure. And her smile- make you believe in miracles.

She recently moved to town to find a part time job, and she’s been coming to our church ever since.

Isang buwan na ang nakalipas at wala pa rin kaming interaksyon dalawa. Naduduwag ako.

I’ve tried to gather the courage to talk to her, but each time I get close, my words get stuck in my throat.

What if she doesn’t notice me? What if she doesn’t like my presence? What if I got ignored?

Not until last Sunday, something changed.

The mass had just ended, and I was lingering by the door, pretending to check my phone. Caliah was talking to a few people, her laughter ringing out like bells. I took a deep breath and walked over, my heart pounding in my ears.

“Hi,” I managed to say, my voice surprisingly steady.

She turned to me, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Oh, hi! You’re... Jared, right?”

I stiffed when she mentioned my name. How come she knew me? How and why? Hindi naman ako gaanong aktibo rito. Kaunti lang din ang nakakakilala sa akin kaya paanong kilala niya ako.

But behind those questions, I manage to smile and nod.

Bakit andami ko atang tanong, dapat maging masaya nalang ako na kilala ako.

“Yeah, that’s me,” I said, my face breaking into an involuntary grin. “I just wanted to say hello. I’ve seen you around, and I thought it was about time I introduced myself.”

She smiled, that radiant smile that had me captivated from the start.

“It’s also nice to officially meet you. Na-i-kwento ka sa akin ng pinsan ko.”

Oh, that’s why.

Sino ba ‘yang pinsan niya, pasalamatan ko lang.

We talked for a while, just small talk really-about the words of God, the weather, her part time job cutie. But to me, it felt monumental, like the beginning of something incredible.

“Matagal ka ng kumakanta?” nagawa kong itanong.

She smiled, looking at the air. “Yes, high school palang. I enjoyed singing especially at the church.”

She talked a lot. At mukha lang akong in love na binata na nakikinig sa kanya.

Her chubby cheeks highlight her face and it’s the most beautiful part of her face. Hindi ko nalang namalayan na nakangiti lang akong nakatitig sa kanya. Not realizing she’s already looking at me.