Garden of Words (Compilation) | Completed

15 - Will You Notice

Dedicated to: ATECLOUDII

“Mr. Math Genius!”

Every day in calculus class, I found myself drifting into a world where numbers and equations took a backseat to something or rather someone-definitely more captivating.

That math genius guy.

His name was Ryan, the undisputed math wizard of our class.

Sobrang gustong gusto ko siya.

The way of how he can solve complex problems with an ease, made my head spin. Sitting behind him gave me the perfect advantage point.

I could watch him without being obvious. His dark hair always fell into his eyes, which he would push back with an absentminded gesture, not realizing how endearing it made him look.

Gwapo na, matalino pa.

What a total package.

Whenever our instructor wrote a challenging question at the board, there was that inevitable moment of silence.

Then, there he is.

He would offer the solution, clear and precise.

I admired him silently. And my heart fluttering each time he spoke in front of the class.

It wasn’t just his brilliance that drew me in; it was his passion for his studies, the way his eyes lit up when he explained a particularly tricky concept to my classmate, the patient way he would go over the steps until they understood.

His enthusiasm was contagious, and I often found myself looking forward to calculus, not because I loved the subject, but because I loved watching him.

“Si Maxine partner mo, Mr. Bon.”

Our instructor paired us up for a collaborative math assignment. My pulse quickened when she announced my name with Ryan.

Umingay din ang lahat sa narinig. Hindi sa kilig, kundi sa panghihinayang. Inggit na sana sila ang maka-partner ng lalaki.

As he walked over to my desk, I tried to steady my breathing, willing myself to appear calm and collected.

“Hey,” he said with a straight face, pulling up a chair next to mine. “Ready to solve some integrals?”

I nodded hesitantly, unable to muster more than a small smile.

We worked through the problems together, and I was in awe of how effortlessly he analyzes through each one, explaining his thought process along the way.

He made everything seem so simple.
Para lang akong secretary niya na taga sulat ng final solution sa lahat ng ni-solve niya.

Nakakahiya.

“Do you get it?” He asked, looking up from the paper, his eyes meeting mine.

At para akong hindi makahinga sa kaba.

“M-medyo,” tanging sagot ko.

I was more focused on his gaze than the math problem at hand. Ryan’s close presence makes me anxious.

“Don’t worry, I can explain it to you after. Just let me finish this.”

The way he concentrated, the slight furrow of his brow when he was deep in thought, and the rare but radiant smile when he solved a particularly tough problem.

Shuta, mai-in love na ata ako sa lalaking ito.

I’m amazed how he’s willing to teach me knowing it’s a collaborative work at dapat lang na may ma-solve rin ako.

Kasi kung ibang tao ito, malamang pinagmumukha na sa aking bobo ako.

I absorbed every detail, storing them away like precious treasures. As we wrapped up our work, Ryan turned to me.

“I know, you can also solve these. You just need a bit more confidence in your answers. Just practice.”

I felt my cheeks flush.

“T-thank you. I’ll try my best.”

He nodded. “If you have vacant time, I can teach you how to solve it easily.”

For the rest of the semester, I continued to admire him from afar, cherishing those moments when our paths crossed, and holding onto the memory of the afternoon we spent solving integrals together.

But there was always a nagging doubt in the back of my mind.

Would someone as extraordinary as Ryan ever notice someone as mediocre as me?

I often caught myself daydreaming, imagining a scenario where Ryan saw me for more than just a classmate or a collaborative partner.

Yet, every time, reality would bring me back, reminding me of my own insecurities.

I wasn’t as brilliant as him, nor as confident. I was just an average girl, struggling to keep up with the pace of our advanced math class.

Sometimes, I’d catch him glancing in my direction, and my heart would leap with hope.  But then I’d brush it off, convinced he was probably lost in his own thoughts about the next math challenge.

Still, a small part of me couldn’t help but wonder.

I don’t know what’s going on my mind but my hand suddenly write something at the back of his integral book.

Ryan...

Could you see beyond the numbers and equations to the girl who admired you so deeply?

Would you ever notice the girl who sat behind you, silently cheering you on, hoping that one day you might look her way and see something more?

Will you notice?