Perfect Facade.

Chapter 13:

       Chapter 13:

               The sound of a door opening jerks me awake, my body shivers and I know I am burning up but looking at my unfamiliar surrounding I forget about it,  look around wondering where I am it takes a while for it all to register in my brain, oh no I must have slept off, I jump off the bed in shock as my eyes finally settles on a figure standing by the door.

Lenard looks at me with an expression I can't decipher, he looks tired, I have never seen him like this before he usually is exhausted when he returns from work but... This is just on another level.

His shirt is buttoned halfway down and his grey suit is slung over his shoulder, he looks flushed.

" are You okay, " I whisper still standing on my spot.

Lenard doesn't reply, he looks disturbed and his eyes, oh those blue globes look like they are about to devour me his hand on the door knob tightens and his jaw clenches.

" are you alright?, i-is there something wrong you look sick. " I ask in a quiet voice as my brow furrows in concern and confusion, he still doesn't say anything instead he walks over to me his eyes raking all over my body.

his hand reaches out to tuck strand of my damp hair behind my hair and my breath hitches, slowly, he traces his finger over my eyebrows, my eyes, my nose and lastly my lip where his thumb and gaze lingers.

Not once in the two years of our marriage has he looked at me this intensely not even the day he thought I had left, I gulp not understanding what has gotten into him. Lenard drops the suit he is holding and cups my cheeks and my lips part as he gulp his Adam apple rolling as he does.

I breathe out a shaky breath when he leans closer, slowly he claims my lips and I gasp surprised and delighted at the feel of his lip against mine.

My mind wonders back to the last time he had kissed me, that was three month ago. But why is he kissing me now?, I thought he detests me!, why is he kissing me?.

W-what is he doing?, I want to back away or tell him to stop but I can't bring myself to do it! I slowly close my eyes when his tongue dives in my mouth, Lenard traces his hand on my backbone while I slowly circle his neck with my hand and draw us closer.

A ringing bell at the back of my head tells me to stop but I don't listen not even when my head hurt like it's about to sleep open not when my whole body is burning up and in pain, all I know is that I want to do this.

Pathetic am I right?, I am nothing more than pathetic.

Lenard lifts me off the floor, I  wrap my legs around his waist as he caries me to the bed where he places me gently and lays on top of me his lips still not leaving mine.

He leaves my mouth and kisses my neck slowly while his hand traces my thigh back to my spine and a moan escapes my lips.

My mind as the logical part of my body told me to stop but I don't,  I have never had a feeling like this before, it feels so good so... Right and my body wants more.

While I am having an inner banter with myself, Lenard seats up to takes off my night gown and I let him, his eyes stares at my naked body with lust written all over his eyes, feeling shy at the way his eyes scrutinizes my naked body I cover my breast with my hand.

My face is flushed with how heavily I am breathing. He rolls his eyes, takes my hand away from my breast and pin of above my head. when I try to remove my hand he gives me a warning glare.

understanding what he means I relax and watch like an obedient girl as he leans down and claims my pink nipple in his hot moist mouth and sucks on it.

I arch my back loving the feeling his mouth is giving me Which makes my body ripples in pleasure, I want him all of him inside and I know he knows it, a moan escapes my lips again as he does the same thing he did to my other breast. 

he takes his time to prepare me before taking of his cloth which he tosses away giving me a feast of his toned abs that are enough to make my mouth water.

I lick my lip and hesitantly trace it with my hand over his chest lightly afraid he will push me away, when he doesn't, I get bolder as I also suck on his nipples like he had done to me while he watches me intently.

I want to pleasure him down but I don't know how to.

Once I am done, Lenard pins my hand above my head again and I know the moment I have been waiting for has finally comes, I relax and watch him as he parts my leg and place himself on my entrance.

a whimper escapes my mouth when he thrusts into me too harshly, my finger digs into his back and I want to tell him to stop due to the pain, he must have had no idea I am a virgin.

Lenard kisses my eyes only then do I realize that I am crying, he waits for me to be comfortable with him before thrusting again.
I whimper again but not loudly. After a few more thrust I don't feel the pain again but pleasure, so much pleasure that I forget that I felt pain a few moments ago.

Our laboured breathing fills the room as he keeps thrusting into me in a fast pace I am not really ready for but I don't protest, soon I reach my climax my body shudders as I release, Lenard however is not done yet, he keeps thrusting faster and faster till he reaches his climax too and he releases inside me with a low groan.

Then he falls beside me and closes his eyes.

I hug him to my body and close my eyes, I don't what has suddenly come over him but it doesn't come as a surprise to me because Lenard himself is full of surprises.

I close my eyes and groan sharply when my head rings sharply like it has just been slit open, all the pian I felt when Lenard came in returns again and the reality of what I have done hits me. Like a brick has just been thrown at my head.

Oh no, i-i gave into the temptations I shouldn't have done this, i-i should have resisted him when he came kissing me, this is the same thing as cheating, I am not his real wife, I am not.  Oh my God, what have I done.

I close my eyes as tears threatens to fall, I can't believe I did this, this is wrong.

I release Lenard and try to stand up but my whole body protests, I have been to caught up in my feelings that I forgot who I really am, I forgot that I am just a substitute.

My silent cries turns into sobs.

I have been to stupid chasing a man that never belonged to me from the start, I have been too busy thinking of myself as Chesca and enjoying luxury while the real Chesca is there fighting for her life.

No matter how much I think about it, I Lenard is right. I am disgusting and pathetic.

I close my eyes and sniff hating how horrible my reality is, I try to close my eyes to forget everything but it hurts living like this. I should never have agreed to do this, Lenard might hate Chesca at the moment but he will one day accept her back and love her.

And the truth is that I am the scapegoat, I am the one who deserves his anger and hatred. my teeth chatters and I try to cover myself with the blanket due to the cold but my body is stiff and I feel miserable.

I want to scream but I don't even have the strength to do that all I can do is grieve for my life, grieve for the past me who I now find out is gone, I have lost my integrity.

I am nothing but a whore.

A whore. 

Its funny how Lenard ends up being right about me every time. i look at him as he sleeps peacefully.

" I am sorry, you were right all along. Y-you have always been right I am a whore, I d-dont deserve your pity you can do whatever you want to me as long as it makes you happy, " I whisper shakily as I rub his cheek with my thumb.

Soon I drift to sleep out of exhaustion.

~P-Lia~.