Aftg react

Part37

Foxes react: chapter7 part2

Some looked at Kevin with a disapproving look  "come on I meant it in a good way him staying is literally killing him, we saw how he came back after winter break" they knew that what he was saying was true and it hurt to know.
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"It's the only way you'll survive."
Neil closed his eyes and tried to breathe. His heartbeat was loud as gunfire in his ears, drumming holes into his brain. He dug his hands into his shirt, trying to feel his scars through the cotton. When he breathed he smelled saltwater and blood. For a moment he was three thousand miles away, stumbling alone and broken down the highway toward San
Francisco. Neil's fingers ached with the need for a cigarette. His legs burned with the desire to run.
But Neil's feet stayed planted, and he opened his eyes again. "No." "Don't be stupid."
"Running won't save me this time," Neil said. "If the Moriyamas
really do think I'm a threat they'll send people after me. My mother and I could barely outrun my father. How am I supposed to escape his boss?"
"At least you'd have a chance," Kevin said quietly.
"A chance to die somewhere else all by myself," Neil said, and Kevin looked away.

They knew there was no other way that it could have been said it really was like that, he was on his own after his mother's death and now he has them if he leaves he would be on his own but them knowing this couldn't prevent the flinches that came from some.
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Neil crouched and pressed his hands to the orange paint. "I don't want to run. I don't want to be a Raven. I don't want to be Nathaniel. I want to be Neil Josten. I want to be a Fox. I want to play with you this year and I want us to make it to championships. And in spring when the Moriyamas come for me I'll do what they're so afraid I will. I'll go to the FBI and tell them everything. Let them kill me. It'll be too late by then."

If the horrified faces of some didn't say much they were all shocked except Kevin who was there. Neil had just explained how he was going to die or a plan it made them sick and it showed even Andrew's eyebrows had frowned it was horrible and no one moved or tried to say anything the were shocked at what had played.
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Kevin was silent for an endless minute, then said, "You should be Court."
It was barely a whisper, but it cut Neil to the bone. It was a resentful goodbye to the bright future Kevin had wanted for Neil. Kevin recruited Neil because he believed in Neil's potential. He brought him to the Foxes intending to make a star athlete out of him. Despite his condescending attitude and his dismissals of Neil's best efforts Kevin honestly expected Neil to make the national team after graduation. Now Kevin knew it was all for naught; Neil would be dead by May.
"Will you still teach me?" Neil asked.
Kevin was quiet again, but not for long this time. "Every night."

If that before took a toll on them this had everyone almost on tiers, gasping and sounds of surprise were everywhere. It was horrible to hear him say that he knew he was going to die even then he was ready to at least take them down with him.
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"Don't tell Andrew about any of this, Kevin."
"I can't," Kevin said. "He won't respect your choice."
Neil started for the door, but Kevin put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Neil."
There was a world of regret in that name, but it was a promise, too. Neil pulled himself back together piece by broken piece and followed Kevin off the Foxhole Court.

They understood the slightest bit why he didn't want Andrew to know they had made a promise and now he was saying that he was dying, Andrew himself had his eyes narrowed not much but enough to know that he was considering it.
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"The coffee that interesting?"
Neil wondered if the Foxes secretly installed him with a tracking chip and turned towards Nicky's voice.

"That is a good idea" said Wymack sighing the tension from before slowly leaving from everyone.
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He and his mother had serious issues, consequence of her background and his terrifying childhood. By the end he wondered if it was survival or love that kept them together so long. Knowing now she'd run to protect him skewed his perspective a little, but he'd violently disliked her for half his life. Despite that, losing her was the worst thing that ever happened to him.

It was bad but good to hear at the same time since that meant that Neil knew how bad she treated him but then again had to live with that for years.
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"Andrew did care. That's what went wrong."
Nicky blinked at him. "What?"
"Andrew came home for Aaron, right? It wouldn't have taken him long to realize Aaron was a wreck. Andrew would have traced Aaron's problems back to their mother. Maybe he didn't kill her for giving him up. Maybe he did it to protect Aaron."
Nicky looked skeptical. "That is a seriously big maybe, Neil."
"Is it?" Neil asked. "Do you remember how Andrew ended up on his medication?"
"Yeah," Nicky said, then went quiet as he thought about it.
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"She was hurting Aaron, so Andrew stopped her," Neil said. "Aaron should have been grateful, but he mourned her like he didn't care what she'd done to them. He took sides."
"You really think so?"
"It makes sense to me," Neil said. It might even explain why Andrew hated Katelyn, though Neil wasn't sure which interpretation to go with: that Andrew wouldn't let another girl come between them, or that he was still punishing Aaron for choosing the wrong side three years ago. "I'm guessing they've never talked about how she died."

Everyone had their eyes on Andrew and Aaron to find answers except Renee who knew, what Neil was saying might have been a stretch but now it made more sense. The twins didn't give anything ignoring the looks, Aaron looked angry but no one was sure if it was because of what Neil had just said or the whole story and Andrew might have even looked amused seeing how Neil just put the story right with just guessing but he was not going to say anything to the other and he didn't really care about what his brother believed. "Oh come on is no one going to answer?" said Alison "bingo" said Andrew not even bothering to look back at her as she sighed.