Lay Me Down (MxM)

16. Communication 🫑

Jae

We drove in strained silence, save for Lucas's intermittent sniffling as he cried. He hadn't said much since he got in the car, and I suspected working out a variety of emotions inside that busy mind of his. Lucas seemed to internalize a lot; at least that's what I gathered from the limited time we'd spent together.

"So... how did the rest of your afternoon go?" I asked, afraid of the potential answer.

Lucas sniffled and pulled his sweatshirt off, tossing it into the back of my car irritably, along with his backpack and a book. He didn't even bother to be organized with the way he deposited his things, no, he just dumped his stuff as if he were home. I didn't mind it at all and found his apparent comfort with me rather sweet.

"Fucking weird..." he muttered, slumping down in defeat. "Also, nobody else noticed the cum but Jordan, so you're lucky." He pursed his lips and eyed me as if he were irritated, but there'd been a playful edge to his voice and smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth while he spoke.

"Oh, yeah? You think Jordan would've known it was mine just based on visual inspection?" I glanced over and kept my expression a bit flat. Really, I was just waiting to hear Lucas laugh. I thought a good laugh was in order and hoped to chip away at the hardened exterior he'd put up over the course of the day.

Lucas shook his head and rolled his eyes, yet the smallest of smiles flashed across his face as he looked away out the window. He sighed and leant his head against the glass, silence settling once again between us.

I watched the road, and the green of farmland rushing past as we cruised along the highway. I'd determined to take Lucas for a bite to eat—it occurred to me he'd not had anything with him for lunch, and he missed his lunch period altogether.

"So, you gonna tell me what happened in detail, or what?" I asked.

Lucas shifted in his seat, letting out an oh-so-teenage exhale, and the sound alone was so deeply saturated with drama and emotion I couldn't help but smirk. He'd effectively communicated his feelings with a mere noise, how impressive.

"That bad, huh?"
Lucas grimaced, banging his fist against his thigh frustration. "What do you think? I don't need to relive that shit."

"Then don't." I said, feeling around for my smokes.

Lucas finally turned to study me; I could feel his gaze, and while I couldn't examine the expression he was wearing for too long, I could've sworn there was a glare somewhere in there. Anger.

"So, what, you don't care about what she did to me, then?" He hissed.

I made a point of shooting him a brief, but deadpan expression. I'd yet to feel my cigarettes nearby, either, which was getting on my nerves. I swore I'd tucked them in the center console like usual but couldn't quite feel them...

"What?" he snipped, pouting quite openly.

"Lucas, it's gonna take a lot more than throwing attitude to hurt my feelings. Of course, I care about what happened to you. All I meant by what I said is that if you don't feel like talking about it right now, that's fine. Jordan Wilder is just a bitchy, jealous, teenage girl. Don't let her sap you more energy or attention from you than she has already. I'm not your enemy, Lu. I'm here to help." I glanced at him once more, hoping he saw the earnest in my expression, but he seemed to be avoiding me.

I'd not intended to come across neglectful or nonchalant about it. I too had had a variety of run-ins the many Jordan Wilder's of this world. They took different forms, had different names, but I knew their game all too well. It would be wrong of me to let this Jordan Wilder steal anymore joy from Lucas than she already had; I was committed to using the remainder of our afternoon together to cheer him up.

"Lu, do you have something to say to me?" I questioned, feeling around once again for my cigarettes, but to no avail. I'd have to pull over if I wanted to find them.

"Oh, for fucks sake." Lucas muttered, digging around in the center console for me. After a few moments he waved a pack of Marlboro Red's in my face. "Addict..." he added, pulling out a smoke for me.

I snatched it from him and smirked as I lit up. "Aw, what a good boy."

I didn't have to be staring at Lucas to know his face had turned red just then, and I was almost sure of his embarrassment once he dropped his gaze to the floor of the car.

"...am I your only boy?" he mumbled.

I gave him a double take. "Are you my what?"
He groaned and threw his head back. "I said, am I your only boy?"

I was confused, unsure what precipitated that specific question, but Lu's attitude toward me was starting to add up. Maybe I'd read him wrong; initially I thought he was bent out of shape because of Jordan, but I was beginning to realize it must be much more than that.

"Why do you ask?" I hit my blinker, merging into the exit lane. I was going to take him to The Lakehouse, this cute little restaurant situated on the shore of one of our local lakes. It was a nice little place, and far enough out of the way that we wouldn't likely have unwanted eyes finding us.

Lucas stuttered. "Well... I don't know, it's not that weird of a question, right? You didn't exactly disclose your relationship status when we made our little deal, Jae." He adjusted in his seat and cradled his hand as he spoke, looking away.

I sighed, eyeing him as we hit a stoplight. "Lucas, if I was actively dating somebody right now, I'd have never called you back in the first place."

Glancing back at the light, I saw there were many cars in front of us, and that the green light was stupidly short. We might be here a few rotations.

Lucas hummed to himself as he considered my words, then looked over with sincerity. "Well, I guess... but, what about somebody casual? Am I the only 'pet' you have right now? Or is there another?"

Where was this coming from? Lucas's questions weren't exactly invalid, it's just that I wasn't sure what brought them to the forefront of his mind. He appeared quite self-conscious, and it was clear to me now what Lucas wanted, what he was asking of me. Exclusivity.

"If I'm being honest, Lucas, I've not had a play partner in quite some time." I sighed, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious myself. "Life has been busy, and so far, as long-term relationships go or consistent fetish play, I've pretty much been doing the whole 'on my own' thing for about eight months. I mean sure, I've had a few hookups here and there, but nothing serious. Nobody I called back." I gave him a small, but reassuring smile before watching the traffic. Just as I'd anticipated the green light was short as fuck, and I was hitting the breaks once again as only three cars had made it through this first round.

Lucas wiggled in his seat and sighed. "... gotcha."

"If you're bothered by my past, I guess I get it." I shrugged. "Yeah, I've slept around, and I won't lie about that, Lu. I play hard and I fuck hard... that's just me. But I can assure you I had no plans to go out and find some other partner while we were actively playing, Lucas."

I felt like I was digging myself a hole the more I spoke, but Lucas at least listened, attention on his splint the entire time. The problem was he didn't respond, he just continued to stare at his splint. I took heavy drags off my smoke, sneaking looks at him here and there, but still nothing. I was beginning to feel as if Lucas might slowly suffocate me with the silence itself when he finally broke it.

"... okay."

I looked over at him and sighed, waiting for the rest to come. Lucas clearly had more to say, but once again, he wasn't saying it. He looked like he was freaking out internally, as if he might explode.

After a few more seconds of painful silence, I nudged him gently. "Take a deep breath, Lu. Calm down..."

He glared at me.

"I am calm, Jae. I'm fucking calm!" Lucas gestured to himself angrily, cursing under his breath before he turned his whole body towards the passenger side door.

I could feel my brows rise and I exhaled a dry laugh. Calm. Lucas was clearly freaking out; I just didn't know why. If it wasn't the shit that happened with Jordan, then what else could it possibly be?

His father, maybe?

My grip on the steering wheel tightened at the mere thought of that fuck-face. I wanted to cave the man's face in, and I'd not even met him yet, but he had hurt Lucas, so that was really all I needed to know about the guy.

I took one last drag off my smoke and tamped it out, unsure of what to say next. I'd given Lucas plenty of opportunities to say his peace and spit out whatever the fuck it was eating at him, but still nothing. Patience wasn't always my strong suit when it came to situations like this. I was a fixer and making it "better" was all I wanted to do for Lu, if only he would let me.

"Lucas..." I sighed, tapping the steering wheel impatiently as we missed yet another green light. The light only took two cars this time. Fucking stupid.

"What?" he mumbled, and he gave me the dirtiest look. It made me wince a bit inwardly; I didn't like him looking at me that way. I hated the idea that I might've done something to hurt him so much. Causing Lucas more unwanted pain was the last thing I'd set out to do.