Sad but True

Release

One night, I lay in bed in tears in pain. I wasn’t hurt, I was tired... tired of wanting to carry on for others but wanting to close my eyes and sleep.

I was wishing I could cuddle up with someone and just cry, without being judged or told to cheer up, because at times cheering up is the last thing you want to do. Putting on the fake smile and laughing because you don’t know the next time you might be able to have a nice time.
If I cried in front of you, not in physical pain, but in release, would you tell me to stop crying or tell me to let it out?

If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why do they seem cracked and damp, is it time or have they been weathered away, forced to become immune to nature’s cruelty.
Will I ever know? If I opened up about everything in life, would I bore you, or I scare you? Would you understand the feeling of being lost in a crowd of familiar faces, or the feeling of falling but excepting the agony you experience when the group pummels your lifeless void which we mortal cases call a body.
Whatever you did, would we be the same? Would I seem “fragile” or “attention seeking”? Or would I just seem like the same person?

Does it even matter what you think? We all die. Does it matter that I have to wait around for death or if I was to invite death into the room?

I want to rest now, but it’ll hurt... not me but others... please let me rest...