The Cooling of The Fire and The Melting of The Ice

3. Keeping Your Balance

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Augustine huffed out of his nose, almost in a mock laugh. Of course Winnie cherished the moment they first met. It must've been the first time Winnie met someone he knew he could leech onto. Augustine thought bitterly, his eyes searching Winnie up and down. He would almost admit he was jealous that Winnie could act so happy all the time. There's no way he was ever capable of being so... attached to him. None of it was making sense to Augustine. How could someone be your best friend but also backstab you and ruin your life? How could Augustine be so blind?

"When your mom practically begged me to come and meet you cause you wouldn't leave your room?" Augustine asked with slight amusement in his tone, his hands still in his pockets. His right hand fidgeting with the lighter. In his mind, he knew that now was the perfect time to actually talk to Winnie.

No distractions. No friends, no stolen love confessions, no hockey team, nothing. It was just Augustine and Winnie.

"I remember it," He continued on, he tried to swallow down the feeling of home that memory gave him. It wasn't as loving or as amazing as Augustine had been convinced to believe, it was a trick. All of it. "It was the first time you met someone you could actually benefit from." The words leaving Augustine mouth weren't even given a second thought, he wasn't sure if he should feel ashamed or proud he was saying what was truly on his mind.

"How often do you think about that day?" Augustine asked, his gaze a bit more intense as he looked at Winnie. "I mean your life was practically perfect once you met me, you knew you had nothing more to worry about." It felt like he was fighting a second nature, a natural instinct- it felt so wrong to be fighting Winnie, to be fighting in his own home. Augustine wasn't usually an intentional violent person.

But he had to break out of what he was brainwashed to believe.

Quickly, Augustine's hands left the pocket of his winter jacket, keeping the lighter stowed away in one as one hand left to give a harsh and sudden shove to Winnie's shoulder, but before he left him fall- Augustine jolted out a hand to grab his arm and hold him there. It was almost like scruffing a cat- if one was dangling a cat out of an open window- the thought made Augustine wince inside. That's a cruel thought to have...he thought, as if he wasn't the only force keeping his 'best friend' from serious injury or even death.

"This is familiar to you too, isn't it." Augustine's words jumbled out all at once, anger lining his tone. "I really don't have to explain it all." he scoffed, holding Winnie firmly from falling, although the contact was the only reminder that Augustine was keeping him from maintaining a proper balance. "But hey, aren't you grateful that I caught you this time?" He forced out a weak laugh, he knew that he could've most definitely saved Winnie from the initial fall- at least, prevented him from breaking his leg.

"This must've been one of your favorite memories," he continued on. "The time when you realized you could soak up every last ounce of attention from your injury from every single one of my friends. And you just drifted off, Mr. Popular, taking in the fame and just leaving me off on my own, I know what I am to you- garbage, trash, nothing but baggage. A stupid pawn to get rid of!"

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"Yeah, it w-"

"What?"

He narrowed his eyes at him, brows furrowing as he tried to see if what Augustine just said was genuine or not. He soon came to realize, he definitely meant it.

"Augustine- what are you talking about? I-"

Before getting to further question him, he let out a gasp as he suddenly felt himself being shoved, and instinctually tried grabbing hold of Augustine's jacket, but he couldn't grab him in time. Thankfully, Augustine caught him. It was like a horrible replay of their last winter being reenacted in slow motion, being somehow more painful to him now than the injuries he sustained from falling down these same stairs previously.

His breathing came out quick and shallow, adrenaline already running through him hard. He used one of his arms to hold onto Augustine's for extra leverage. He grabbed hold of him so tight he was afraid of his muscles giving out due to exertion, his hands beginning to shake due to it. He tried to shuffle his feet forward but it was impossible with the physically uncomfortable position he was in. He could only stare at Augustine's expression, absolutely terrified.

"I- I.." He stuttered out, not being able to find the right words to say next. He felt like he was walking on glass at this point, like whatever he'd say here would determine whether or not he'd be dropped or not. He surely wasn't going to die though if he fell, right? Last time he only broke his leg, but... why does it feel like his life is on the line this time?

"I never saw you that way, Augustine-" He choked out, already feeling the tightness in his chest, feeling like he'd cry if he didn't keep himself together right now. And even so, he's barely keeping it together already after only a few seconds of this. Everything hit him like a bullet to the chest, and he didn't know what to do about it. "You're accusing me of things that I never said, Augustine! Please-"

He wanted to tell Augustine that he shouldn't be joking at a time like this, but he was truthfully scared to. He was afraid it definitely wouldn't help his case here, not at all.

His mind was racing. What did he do wrong? What did he do wrong? And what could he do to fix it? And fix it immediately? Augustine was never this... violent towards him, ever, even when he was upset. It scared him, to see your best friend for your entire life suddenly turn on you for something you don't even fully know you did. Everything just happened all of a sudden, he never had anything explained to him, so he didn't know what he did. All of these actions of his own he was being outed for here were unintentional, but he felt like that was going to be impossible to get across with his words. It was all he had, though, all he had was his words.

"I never meant for that- to happen.. I—" He exhaled shakily. "I didn't want to do that I never meant to do that. You mean more to me than anything or anyone else, Augustine- I'd never get rid of you, never." He breathed out, already starting to feel the tears pricking at his eyes. He felt like he was at the end of his rope, he didn't really know what else to say to change his mind, he felt like nothing would.

"You know I care about you so much- more than anything.." He tried as a last desperate attempt. He didn't want Augustine to hate him-

He was all he had.

He never wanted to hurt his best friend, but now, he started to feel like it was too late to mend it at all.

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A little shorter this time! Sorry for the cliffhanger :) (or am I)