The White Tiger

Chapter 38

 While Jay and I walked, it crossed my mind that we were alone. Meaning, now would be a good time to talk to him about being my king. I felt a little nervous. I didn't know if he'd answer me. And I didn't know if he'd be angry or not.

 "You're nervous, beauty. What's on your mind?" Jay asked, bringing me out of my thoughts suddenly.

 "I was just thinking, my love..." I smiled up at him. 

 "About what?"

 I sighed and stopped walking. I looked up at him, holding his hands in mine. "I'm going to ask you a serious question. And I want you to answer honestly." He nodded slowly, his eyebrow raised. "Jay, are you nervous about being king one day?"

 Jay froze at my question. He looked away and, finally, he nodded hesitantly. "Yes..."

 "Why..?"

 "I'm afraid I won't be a good king, I guess....You know how I am...Cold, protective, possessive...I've seen how intimidated some of the pack members are by me. It never really bothered me before though...."

 "Until you found out you were mated to a crown princess..." I said quietly, frowning.

 Jay nodded slowly. "I don't want to be the reason your kingdom falls again. Heck! It's already falling because your mated to a Gamma!" he groaned, running his fingers through his hair. "I do my best to be a good Gamma. But I don't know the first thing about being king....I'm...afraid I guess..."

 I knew he hated admitting when he was afraid. But, unless he closed the bond, I could feel his fear. He tried to hide it well, but he can't hide his feelings from me.

 "Jay....I know you're cold, protective, and possessive sometimes...I know that it intimidates your pack members...But I also know, that you are a great Gamma. Being king is probably like being Alpha almost. I know-"

 "Elena, I don't know the first think about being an Alpha." my mate deadpanned. 

I rolled my eyes. "Let me finish, please." Jay kept silent and looked at me. I gave him a small smile. "I know you would be a great king. You care about your pack. You care about my future subjects. You care about me. You will still be Gamma. I won't make you give that up or choose between the two. You can just help me and be there when I need you...I want you to be happy, Jay..."

 Jay looked at me. "You really think I have what it takes to be a good king...? You really think I can be a good king and Gamma at the same time...?"

 I shook my head. "I don't think it, my love....I know it." With that, I kissed his cheek. "Come on now. We need to find Alec."

 Jay nodded, smiling. We resumed our walking. I felt better after talking to Jay. I could see he felt better too. I felt it in our bond. I didn't blame him for being nervous. I'm a little nervous too. After all, I was not trained to be queen. But, I'll do my best and that's all I can do. And the same goes for Jay. All he can do is his best. But I really do believe he will be a great king.

 We had finally reached the edge of the pack. We sniffed the air and looked at one another. We both could smell Alec somewhere nearby. But he was nowhere in sight...

 "Alec! Come on out! It's us! Gamma Jay and Elena!" Jay called out. 

 "We just want to talk, Alec! Please!" I added. "Your sister and mate are worried about you...At least come out and talk to us."

 "I'm not here...." a voice mumbled quietly. I jumped a little, not expecting a voice to come out of nowhere. Jay and I were holding back chuckles. We smiled as we looked at one another.