Unintentional Subject - Book 1 In The Jessie Series

Chapter 61: Don't Give Up on Me

🔥🌶️ Spicy Fluffy kissy chapter 🌶️🔥

We sat at the table, for supper. Minho had hardly let go of my hand since he showed up in the maze. He didn't leave my side; which made for an... interesting shower after we got back.

Minho's hand slid onto my thigh, and his thumb gently drew little circles on my skin. It made my stomach back flip, especially what he had done to me in the shower. I clenched my fist around my fork for a second, trying to keep myself from not gasping and blushing or giving away he was teasing me again.

"Jessie?" Winston leaned over and asked quietly, "you okay?"

"Yep." I squeaked, picking up my water. I could see Minho smirk slightly, and slid his hand higher. I choked on my water and coughed a few times.

Winston gave me a knowing look and smirked. "Imma also need some details about that shower 'cause dang giiirl..."

I knew my face was pink, and I could feel my heart beat picking up.

"...I didn't know you could lose control like that, the things I heard when I walk-"

I sprung up from the table, snatched my backpack, spun on my heel and left the dining area as fast as I could, leaving my half eaten supper behind. I heard some of them calling me back, but I needed away. I needed quiet. I slid into the shadows of the Deadheads and climbed up a tree. I sat high in the branches trying to calm my racing heart and wild spinning mind.

Today, and yesterday had been so overwhelming, so many emotions had run through my mind and body and I was exhausted. I shifted so I was leaning against the trunk of the tree and my backpack was in my lap. I leaned my head back and looked up at the sky through the canopy of leaves. It should have been sunset, but there was no sky now. Just flare dull grey. There was just enough light to see by, there was no actual source for the light, it was just there. Like the electricity and water from pipes was just there.

I groaned and closed my eyes. I didn't know what to do to help. I didn't even know how I felt. I was so thankful and relieved Minho was okay, but I was still angry and hurt, I felt guilty for feeling like that too, feeling kind of like he betrayed my trust, constantly telling me to find help, to go talk to someone before it got bad, how he was always upset and sad or angry when I self harmed or that one time in the map room...and then he goes and does the same thing, but worse. Then I felt a wave of guilt and shame. We all have our own issues and flaws, our own traumas.

I think what was most upsetting was that he never told me. He never aloud me to see the vaunerable side. It was only just me, he made me spill everything, but I hardly saw his fears. Sure I saw the sweet and tender side of him, the kinky sexy side, but never the broken and vaunerable side.

I got up and carefully made my way through the trees to the tree fort. No one had used it since me and Teresa had taken refuge here when we first woke up. I sat down beside the lines I had carved in the tree my first month here. I ran a hand over them, thinking. I could feel the weight of sadness hanging on me. I missed Sonya so much. I bite my lip trying to keep the tears inside. I have cried a lot lately and I didn't like it. Opening up to others made me emotional, letting these boys in, letting them see the messiness inside made me cry all the shucken time.

I pulled my notebook out, flipping through the pages I read some of my entries when I first got here and I snorted a few times as I read of frustrated and angry I was with Minho.

He keeps running his stupid hand through his stupid hair, like he's trying to mess up that front on purpose. He's shucken arragant!

I smiled.  Uh, silly nieve me. It started as something I wanted to smack him for and now it's something I love watching him do.