Blood of my blood (Severus Snape & daughter)

19- Father and daughter

This chapter is emotive, I recommend having tissues at hand

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December 26, 1997

Lily paced furiously around the attic. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to break things. She wanted to take out her wand and cast hexes until she was exhausted. But she couldn't do any of that, because she couldn't risk attracting attention.

So, she kept pacing like a caged animal, under Susan's worried gaze.

"I hate him, I hate him! Why can't he tell me the truth? Why does he have to lie to me?"

"Lily, it's not worth getting so angry," Susan tried to reason with her, in a calm voice. "Also, what did you want him to tell you?"

"The truth! I just want the truth."

"Do you really want to know? What if it's not what you expect? Would you really like him to be your father?" Susan approached her, and Lily wiped her tears with her hands.

"I don't know. I don't know if I want him to be, or not to be. I just want..." Lily couldn't explain what she felt. "Why does it have to be so complicated?" Lily was no longer angry, but she felt lost, abandoned and helpless. Susan hugged her tenderly, rubbing her back.

"It's okay," she whispered, as Lily sobbed into her shoulder, clinging tightly to her.

Did she want Severus to be her father? Was she so in need of his love?

Dozens of images flooded her mind. Severus giving her the scroll with the spell to get her books back, Severus teaching her how to summon a Patronus, Severus smiling when he saw the silver doe, Severus growling slightly before giving in and granting her what she asked for...

Severus, looking at her proudly, explaining how to evade a curse, smiling excitedly when they dueled.

Severus, putting his hand on her shoulder, guiding her and teaching her to control her strength.

Severus fuming when Umbridge questioned her, as if he was going to jump on her neck for daring to insult Lily.

Severus telling her that she was qualified to research Potions and encouraging her to embark on her career as a researcher.

Severus teasing her, not bothering with her blatant retorts...

And finally, Severus, looking at her with kindness and interest from the other side of the cauldron, cutting ingredients and talking to her, asking her about classes and her summer plans. As if he really cared. As if she were important to him...

"Would you really like him to be your father?"

"Yes, I would like to," she confessed, her voice breaking. "I wish he were..."

***

January 20, 1998

"The Carrows have done it again, they are torturing the students with the Cruciatus Curse," Severus growled, pacing in front of the desk. From his portrait, Dumbledore looked at him with a serious expression. "I can't do anything, I can't go into the classroom and stop them."

"It would be very suspicious, of course. However, you were right to send Ginny and Neville to Hagrid."

"Everyone thinks the Forbidden Forest is dangerous..." Severus snorted. "At least it's no more dangerous than the Carrows."

"Try to give them a wake-up call, remind them not to spill magical blood."

"I've already done it. They told me that, technically, they are not making anyone bleed," Severus gritted his teeth in anger. "Maybe I should poison them... a couple of drops in their tea should do the trick."