Book of oneshots

Can't look away

A/N

Well if you couldn't tell, last story was inspired by my memories. 

I wrote the last story about a person who helped me through a lot, and they died years ago. But every year I get sad and almost depressed when the cursed month comes, and I felt like I needed to tell you guys where the name, MY name, came from.

_________________________________________

"Come on, she'll be back"

"He's right, she always go back to you"

"You don't need her"

"Yeah, all you need is a couple of drinks!"

They knew it, I didn't even need to tell them what had happened. She said she had had enough, and the guys could see it from the moment I walked in. They tried to cheer me up, telling me I didn't need someone like her in my life and that everything from now on only meant it was going to be more fun, I didn't need to think about her.

But that was the problem to begin with. I never listened, I was always late and I never replied on her texts, when she was worried or just missed me. I had been out, having fun with guys at the night clubs, I didn't have time for her... I couldn't always be there for her! I mean, I had a lot of stuff to do, I had worked hard just to get to the point I am now, and I'm still aiming for something bigger....

She used to support me.

I had done so many stupid things, that, I'll admit. I stopped doing all the stuff she liked. I had what I wanted, so why keep working so hard for it? I gave the chicks around me, all the attention. Whether it was a cute waitress, who of course gave me her number or someone random wearing a tight black dress, grinding on me at the club. I didn't think much of it, thought we were locked, together and nothing could change it... But the thing was, I had changed.

I never understood why she was acting so weird, why would she even be jealous? I didn't do anything, but get frustrated, angry and leave with the crew, hoping another night at a club could bring stuff back in balance.

When she for the first time talked about leaving, I tried to make it better. But I quickly went back to my old habits. I would always be the one to talk, telling her how much fun it had been at the club, at the game, wherever I had been without her. I would also always apologize when I was late or anything, but I didn't do anything about it, I didn't change the way I was acting. And now I have realized, I'm asshole.

I messed up.

I had thought that, just a little kiss from a stranger, a night out with the crew or working till late, was nothing. The fact is though, it wasn't just a little kiss, it wasn't just one night and I never showed up at her apartment. I tried to apologize again when I had stood her up, it had been hours later and she just looked at me.

"Not showing is nothing new" she sighed and left. We kept fighting, and I tried to make it better, saying I would give her what she wanted, not matter how expensive it would be. She only asked for one thing and at the time, I didn't understand what she meant. She wanted me

I took her for granted.

The only person who could make my body feel like it was on fire with just one touch. I could get lost in her eyes, yet I choose to look at something completely different, at someone completely different. I never thought about what she wanted or if I should take her with me when I was out. I too caught up with everything else, my own needs and desires.

Now I would give everything just to have her by my side again.

Days later, she still hadn't called, telling me that she wanted to get back together or anything. The guys kept saying she would come back, and that I should have fun while she wasn't here, but when we leave to get to any of the clubs, I realize something had changed. I was having 'fun' without her when we were together and now.. I wasn't having any fun, instead I felt like something was missing. No matter how attractive some of the girls were, no-one could make me feel the same way as she did.

I now know how she felt.

I no longer had anyone to talk to, I needed someone who would listen to my dreams, I needed someone who would send me texts telling me they loved me, I needed her. We tried a different club this time. They had giving me the same talk again before dragging me to where the music were. I would always be fine when we arrived, but I would be sad or annoyed when we left. This time though, I think I'll be depressed when we leave.

She's the one having fun now.

My grip would tighten around my drink, making one of my brothers worried that I would break the glass. She was dressed up like normal, but this time, she had a smile on her face. A flattering dress, the dark circles were long gone and not so much make up, she didn't even need it. She was surrounded by some good looking fellas, but I knew she deserved better, they all knew. But who wouldn't give anything to get some attention from a stunning looking woman.
The way she was dancing, the playful look in her eyes, the pearly white teeth, and beautiful red lips. She was giving her attention to every guy who looked at her.... Except for me.
She was having fun, looking at guys they way she used to look at me, yet never even noticed that I was there.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her.... Still can't. Even if it hurts so damn much, I can't look away.
____________________________
A/N
Hey, so this is unedited and just a quick story so people don't think I'm dead XD