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ESSENCE MARIE JONES
" Ma did you ever find my birth certificate ?" Essence said quite loud considering her mother was in another room.
" No. I hope you not rushing me you'll get it when you get it don't touch my shit either." She said her attitude covered thick in her words.
" Ma I have to turn my stuff in to work so they can confirm my age & stuff, I need 2 forms of identification I already have my school ID, Essence said rolling her eyes slightly.
It had been weeks and her things were due. She needed this job badly her mama wouldn't do shit for her so she didn't understand what was the hold-up. Every time she asked for something she was a needy ass lil girl, even if it was essentials like toothpaste.
" Essence shut the fuck up before you piss me off, and stay out my shit like I said."
Essence knew if she said another word she would have a long night so she just shut up and thought about figuring something else out.
" At times like this, I wish I had a sibling" Essence said sighing.
She closed her room door and turned some music on. Music was like the person she never had. Most of the lyrics her favorite artists were saying she could relate to and it made her calm in a way. It made her zone out all of her issues from her mom, and everything else.
She didn't have anyone. All she could do was right in her journal. Her mom kept her from having friends or contact with anyone except for HER. Her mom was all she knew... and she wished she didn't know her.
It's a battle everyday for her. She's depressed, has ptsd, anxiety, trust issues, getting beat on mentally and physically, no friends, no social skills nothing. She was almost an adult she felt so trapped. Almost Everything you could think was wrong with a person was wrong with her and she hated that.
She hated that she got treated the way she did for no reason. Especially when she never comes at her mom in a disrespectful way. Especially when she never asked to be here. She often found herself thinking why me...?
Shame by Summer Walker played and she mouthed the lyrics lowly.
In a perfect world You're understanding, I'm not a perfect girl I would drop my fears at the door I would only bring myself and nothing more And you let me be, a woman And you let me be, a flawed woman You would yearn to hear all about my past What I've done, what I've did And why, hear all my sick thoughts And if I needed to, I could cry And you would catch my tears
She began writing and spilled all of her thoughts and feelings about the day. Something about it was so therapeutic to her. She had no one else to talk to so this was her best bet. Without it, she probably would've gone psycho in that house.
Essence cried herself to sleep that night. All the abuse physical or mental really was getting to her. She was only 17 and she just knew deep inside this isn't what she deserved. She just wished she had someone else out there...
THE NEXT DAY
Essence woke up to her 5am alarm going off. It was time for school. She was a senior she didn't have to many classes and graduation was a month or two away so she wasn't stunting it for real.
She did her face routine and then got dressed not forgetting to spray her Dolce & Gabbana perfume and put on her favorite necklace.
The necklace was the only thing that she had left of her dad. She never knew what happened to him because anytime she asked she was beaten so she just stopped asking.
She walked out of the house locking the door behind her and headed to the bus stop. She hated riding the bus but her mama damn sure wasn't getting her a car Essence had to pay for toilet paper to wipe her ass.
Essence arrived at school and immediately put her airpods in. She couldn't stand hearing any loud noises, everything triggers her. Triggering her leads to panic attacks and that leads to her mom being called and that's the LAST thing she wants happening.
She walked around school unnoticed. She was a very pretty girl but It just was like her presence wasn't seen. She always stayed quiet and out the way. Her life at home was already in shambles she didn't want the peace to be fucked up at school too.
While in her free period she thought about her job again. She needed that birth certificate badly, social or something. She needed another job to stack up so she can get as far as possible from her mama. As the thoughts escaped her mind a text came in from her mom.
" Im working late tonight don't expect me to come home. I don't know how you gone eat figure it out."
Essence was used to shit like this so she just said okay and went on bout her day. If she just hearted the message she would feel it later so she chose to comply.
Essence also knew it would be the perfect time to look for her birth certificate. Regardless of what her mama said She knew she wouldn't ever get it messing with her. So she just decided she'll take it into her own hands.
Finally making it home Essence headed straight for her mother's room to search under the mattress. She knew that's where her mother kept most of the important documents so she figured it would be there.
She lifted the mattress and all she seen was late bills and spam. She figured maybe it'll be in her closet then.
After looking for about an hour she was really finna just give it up. Until she moved some things on the top shelf of the closet and this shoe box came falling down full of papers she had never seen before.
It had all these missing papers with this familiar face on it.. way to familiar almost like that was her.
The papers date all the way back to when she turnt 3 the most recent one being 6 months ago... She was so confused. How is she missing if she's with her mom now and has been all 17 years of her life?
She kept digging in the box and finally found her birth certificate but it had two very unfamiliar names on there... Her moms name was Lashay Jones and her dads was Derrell Jones so why is there a lady name Zamora Devore and a dude named Amir Devore on there? And her name read Essence Marie Devore?
She couldn't even process what was happening before she heard the front door opening and her mom calling her name....
" ESSENCE MARIE" her mom yelled loudly from downstairs.
