Eastwood Academy

Chapter 11: The Aftermath

I wake up with a killer hangover. Jessica brings me water and Tylenol, which I accept gratefully. I gulp it down and promise myself never to drink this much again. After lying in bed for another hour, I drag myself down to the library to get started on the mountain of homework I've been assigned.

The lingering hangover causes me to work at half my normal speed, but I still manage to complete most of my AP English and US History reading and notes in a few hours. This is good because tomorrow, I can devote my energy to prepping for the Monday Sports Committee meeting that I am dreading with my entire being.

As I pack up my books, I try my best and fail not to think of my encounter with River at Tyler's party. When I lost my mother, I was devastated, and then I went numb. Grief is a funny thing. I thought the worst was over when she actually died. I was wrong.

The hardest part wasn't the initial goodbye; it's the small moments that make me miss her so much it hurts, like when some dumb boy is being a jerk, and I want to call and tell her about it. Hot tears sting my eyes and roll down my cheeks as I exit the library. I haven't been this emotional in years, but thanks to River and the picture going around, I've been reliving events I'd rather forget a lot lately.

The rest of the weekend passes uneventfully. I eat meals with Jessica, Gavin, and Carly. On Sunday I spend a good portion of the afternoon writing up a formal proposal for the soccer tournament I proposed. I'm not exactly sure what duties I'll be delegated, but I'm sure this can't hurt, and I don't want to be caught off guard like I was at the last meeting. I'm feeling an enormous amount of pressure to present myself well to my fellow classmates, and I also don't want to give River any reason to give me crap.

I spent most of the weekend trying to block out my encounter with River and his harsh words," ...you're so good at sticking your nose into other people's business... you just happened to be in the right place at the wrong time, don't think we have some kind of bond. Or worse, flashes of the brief moments when I thought he had some interest in getting to know me will flash through my mind, and I'll picture the way his green eyes softened as he asked me where I was from or the way it felt to have his bare skin against mine when he was trying to keep me from falling over.

When Monday rolls around, I've officially given up the idea that we can have any kind of peaceful interaction, so it's back to my other plan. I'll ignore him as much as possible. Thank God I have Gavin in History and the Sports Committee meetings. He's already become a friend I feel like I can count on, and I know he won't let me down if I tell him how critical this next semester is for me to get into college.

Thinking about Gavin temporarily drives River from my mind as brief flashes of hazy memories come back to me; Gavin walking me out to the car, wanting him to hold me tighter, and feeling him stroke his hand down my hair.

But even as I remember how it felt to be in his arms, I know that what I really wanted was someone who would make me forget the fire I felt when River touched me.

History class is going to be a drag, I think to myself as I put on my uniform and shoulder my bag. Except that it isn't because River ends up ditching. I spend the first few minutes of class tensely waiting for him to show up and ruin what little peace of mind I have, but when ten minutes pass, I accept that that's not going to happen, and I relax. Gavin seems downright thrilled. Twice, I catch him smiling at River's empty seat. I roll my eyes at him, but I'm smiling, too, because I don't think I can handle his rude attitude anymore. I wonder if my luck will hold, and he'll decide to ditch the sports committee meeting today, too.

As the day goes by and I see no sign of River, I begin to relax and also feel that unwarranted sense of disappointment I've learned to expect when River's not there. It's not that I want him to make my life miserable, but there's something about him that I find so compelling. Even when I know I should steer clear of him, I don't want to. How can I be relieved that he's not here to torment me and still irrationally want to be in his presence?