Chapter 7

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I was always taught as a child that a man and a woman should be the ones to experience love. My heart, however, is speaking another tale right now, one that goes against everything I've ever been taught. 
 
Hindi ko naman pinilit...kusa lang naman nangyari, anong magagawa ko kung gusto ko talaga siya? Akala ko kasi straight ako, maybe I was. I found myself questioning my own sexuality and the feelings that were growing inside me.
 
Malalim akong nagpakawala ng hininga at tumagilid ng higa. Anong gagawin ko? Hindi ko kaya 'to. Gusto kong umamin pero kapag umamin ako, para ko na ring ginulo ang tao dahil alam ko naman sa sarili kong hindi ko kayang panindigan 'yon, but at the same time, I don't want any regrets. 
 
I wanted to express my feelings, but I was scared of the consequences.
 
Kinabukasan ay biglaan lang din ang pag-aya ni Sam sa akin. Nagsabi lang siya na susunduin niya ako at pupunta raw kami sa UP Sunken Garden, kaya naman napahalungkat ako sa damitan ko. I was surprised by Sam's sudden invitation, but I was also excited. I rummaged through my wardrobe, trying to find the perfect outfit for our outing.
 
"Bakit kasi biglaan, eh?" I muttered under my breath as I sifted through my clothes. I glanced at the dresses hanging on the side of my wardrobe and contemplated. Should I wear a dress? I approached the dresses and examined each one, trying them on in front of the mirror. Eventually, I settled on my beige sleeveless dress with a slit that reached up to my thigh.
 
Nang pumatak ang ala una y media ng hapon nagsimula na akong mag-ayos dahil ang usapan namin ay 4 kami pupunta, at dahil mabagal ako kumilos ay maaga na akong naligo. I started doing my makeup. 
 
I started with a light layer of foundation, blending it into my skin to create a smooth canvas. I then applied a thin layer of concealer under my eyes, hiding any signs of sleeplessness from the previous night. 
 
"Concealer para hindi halatang hindi na ako halos makatulog dahil sa kagagawan mo, Sam." I mumbled and continued what I'm doing. Hindi ko muna binlend ang concealer ko at nagtingin na muna ng mga eyeshadows ko, beige ang color ng dress, so I guess I should go for a soft or natural look, okay? I shrugged my shoulders and chose a warm brown eyeshadow. Inayos ko lang ang concealer ko at pinagpatuloy ang ginagawa. I then added a touch of shimmering gold to the center of my lids, making my eyes pop. A thin line of eyeliner and a couple of coats of mascara completed my eye makeup. Next, I moved on to my cheeks. I chose a peachy blush, applying it to the apples of my cheeks for a natural flush. I then dusted a bit of highlighter on the high points of my face—my cheekbones, the bridge of my nose, and my cupid's bow—to add a subtle glow.
 
Tumayo na ako at kinuha sa drawer ang hair curler ko, kaya naman na siguro ng buhok ko 'to? Ang tagal na rin simula ng huli ko itong gamitin. I stared, curling my hair, and I smiled after I saw the mermaid curls, Ganda. 
 
Nang matapos ako saktong 3:30 ay agad akong tumayo para magbihis. I had paired it with a pair of white sandals and a straw hat. I stared at my reflection and smiled.
 
“Ganda ko,”
 
Sa sala na ako naghintay at nakita kong nakaupo lang si kuya Kris doon, nang makita ako ay pinasadahan niya rin ako ng tingin.
 
“Saan ka?” takang tanong niya bago uminom ng kape.
 
“Dyan lang sa UP,”
 
“May date ka?”
 
Agad akong umiling saka kabadong tumawa, “Wala, kuya. K-kaibigan ko yung kasama ko.”
 
He doesn't look convinced, but hindi na rin naman na siya muling nagsalita kaya chineck ko na lang ang phone ko, baka may chat na si Sam at tama nga ako.

Sam

malapit na po
seen

 
Okkii, wait kita here. tapos na ako
delivered

As I waited for Sam to arrive, my mind raced with a whirlwind of emotions. Despite my doubts and fears, I couldn't deny the fact that I was looking forward to spending time with her.

When Sam finally arrived, I felt a rush of relief wash over me. She looked stunning in a simple white polo and trousers; she looks beautiful and handsome at the same time. At dahil nga sanay kami na kapag pumupunta siya pumapasok siya agad sa bahay, ngayon ay nakalimutan kong sabihin na nandito ang isa kong kuya. 
 
“Hello po,” bati niya kay kuya kaya naman bahagya akong kinabahan. Kuya is observing her but still nodded. 
 
“Ikaw ang kasama ni kz? ” 
 
“Ah, opo. Sa UP lang po kami.”
 
Tumango-tango si kuya saka tumingin sa akin, kaya bahagya akong ngumiti. There's something in the way he looks at me, as if he's figuring something out. Naningkit pa ang mga mata saka muling tumingin kay Sam. 
 
“Kayong dalawa lang?”
 
“Opo kuya,” singit ko saka kinuha ang sling bag at lumapit na kay Sam, “Una na kami,” ayon lang ay hinawakan ko na si Sam sa braso saka hinila pero bago ko pa mabuksan ang pinto ay muling nagsalita si kuya. 
 
“Pakihatid na rin dito si kz kapag pauwi na kayo.” 
 
Para akong natuod dahil hindi ako agad nakagalaw, hindi na rin ako nakalingon kay kuya at tanging si Sam na lang ang humarap. 
 
We made our way to the Sunken Garden, chatting and laughing as we walked. The park was alive with the sound of birds chirping and the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze. As we strolled through the park, Sam pointed out various landmarks and shared interesting facts about each one. I listened intently, hanging on to her every word as we made our way around the garden.
 
“Paano mo naman nalaman, ‘yan?” Natatawa ngunit curious kong tanong, nagkibit balikat lamang siya. 
 
Nang makahanap ng pwesto na hindi gaano kainit ay sinimulan na naming maglatag. We spread out a blanket under a large tree; paminsan ay may nalalaglag na dahon, but hindi na namin iyon pinansin. Napangiti ako matapos makita ang mga pagkaing dala niya. It was all my favorite.
 
Pinagmasdan ko ang ibang mga naroon na may kaniya-kaniya ring ginagawa, may mga magjowa, magkakaibigan, at ang iba naman ay nagpa-practice.

The Love We Left BehindTahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon