The Definition of Insanity | 𝐿𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝐿𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑜

Twenty-Two

A week passed and my mood hadn't improved. My friends knew something was wrong but they'd given up prodding me for answers. I was also avoiding spending one on one time with Lesso; I'd made up constant excuses but even she knew something was up. 

Friday finally came around and I decided I'd need to speak to her about it; I couldn't leave things like they were, because she was my girlfriend and I loved her, but I wasn't okay with how she'd dealt with Allegra. 

After our last class with Manley, I headed to her classroom, but she wasn't there. I thought about leaving her a note asking her to meet me in my dorm tonight, but it was risky. I didn't want prying eyes finding it. I headed down towards the dining hall to meet my friends and on the way I bumped into Allegra down a deserted corridor. 

I regarded her warily and she instantly stepped back. Her injuries had partly healed, but she still looked wrecked, like she hadn't slept for the whole week. A surge of sympathy went through me. 'Allegra-' 

'Stay the fuck away from me.' She hissed, reeling like a frightened tiger. 

I narrowed my eyes. 'If anything, it should be me more scared of you, after what you did to me.' 

She laughed hollowly. 'You act like you're so innocent. Why the hell are you always everyone's favourite, the more talented one?' 

I raised an eyebrow. 'So everyone's right, it is jealousy. Look, I don't care what personal issues you have in your life, but don't go blaming me for all the shitty things that happen to you. We all have shit in our lives, some more than others. But you don't see other people blaming the first person they set eyes on.' 

'Whatever.' She rolled her eyes, storming past me. 

I stood there for a moment, trying to conjure up as much disdain for her as possible, but I couldn't stop myself feeling sorry for her. She clearly had what little confidence she had before, shattered. Yeah, I was a villain, but I wasn't completely cold and heartless. 

I headed down to the dining hall, and I spotted my friends at our table, but before I could take another step, Lesso swung her cane in front of me, preventing me from moving. 'Miss Hook, a word.' 

I frowned. 'What's up?' 

She lead us to one side of the room, away from listening ears and lowered her voice. 'Look, I know something is wrong, so don't tell me you're fine. What's really going on?' 

I sighed. 'Fine, yeah, something is up. I don't like the way you dealt with Allegra.' 

She looked disconcerted. 'Wait, what?' 

'There's dealing with wrongdoing accordingly and then there's what you did.' I continued. 'Don't you think it was a bit extreme? I saw Allegra that day, she looked awful.' 

'Katherine, she nearly killed you, and as you very well know, students aren't allowed to kill anyone before graduation. I dealt with her as I should.' 

'So this is nothing to do with your personal feelings for me?' I raised an eyebrow. 

'I don't know why you're being like this.' She frowned. 'I dealt with Allegra for you because she hurt you badly and instead of thanking me, you have a go about it instead? She's been giving you grief for months, I think what I did was the least she deserved!' 

'Oh, well that's alright then.' I said sarcastically. 'I'm just trying to understand why you went to such extremes.' 

'Look, in case you forgot, I've had a really stressful past few weeks, and I needed to vent a little bit, Allegra had broken rules, I had to deal with her.' She explained. 'I don't understand why you're acting so shocked, I thought you knew me.' 

'I didn't think you were that bad.' I scowled. 'You could have killed Allegra!' I was distantly aware that we had raised our voices slightly, and a few students and teachers were turning to stare, but at this point, I didn't care. 

'If you don't like it, then why are you still with me?' She asked. 

'Because despite all that, I still love you.' I admitted. 'That's why I wanted to talk, to sort this out.' 

'There doesn't seem to much to sort out, if you can't accept this is me. You clearly don't love me as much as you make out.' She shrugged. 

My blood ran cold. 'Of course I do. I just don't like the extreme way you acted.' 

'It's the same thing.' She glared. 'Answer me this, then. If I'm that bad, then why am I still with you?' 

'Because for reasons I can't seem to fathom or indulge, you also love me.' 

She paused for a moment. Something had changed in her blue eyes. They were more of an icy blue. 

'What's there to love?' She said tonelessly, before turning and leaving. 

I stood still in shock for a moment, before I finally processed what had just happened. Had she actually just broken up with me? 

'Katherine?' 

I turned. Hester and Dot were stood nearby, looking concerned. As soon as I saw their worried expressions, I couldn't stop my eyes stinging as tears threatened to come up. 

'Oh no, not here you don't.' Hester put an arm around me, guiding us out of the hall. 

I waited until we'd reached my dorm room before I completely broke down. Dot hugged me until I eventually calmed down.

'I can't believe she actually just did that, in front of everyone as well.' Hester shook her head. 

'Well the whole school are going to know about you two now.' Dot said, trying to make some humour of the situation. 

I crossed my legs, wiping my eyes. 'I thought you were happy about what happened to Allegra?' 

'We are, but your emotions are perfectly valid as well.' Dot told me. 'And Lesso wasn't right, being so righteous about it. She shouldn't have spoken to you like that.' 

'So you guys don't think I'm wrong for confronting her about Allegra?' 

'Not at all, like Dot said, your feelings are totally valid too.' Hester nodded. 'She doesn't deserve you.' 

'Thanks guys.' I laid my head on Hester's shoulder. 'You're the best.' 

'Hey, at least we won't have to fight for your time over the summer, we've got you all to ourselves!' Dot laughed. I actually managed to crack a smile.