The Definition of Insanity | 𝐿𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝐿𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑜

Twenty-Eight

I walked up to my dorm, feeling strangely wide-awake still, to say it had been a long day. I'd have to create a mild sleeping draught, to get myself to sleep tonight. Luckily Sage had the right ingredients for it as she was Maleficent's daughter. 

'Oh, good, there you are!' 

I turned to see Calliope striding over. 

'What's up?' I asked. 

'You left your sword in class earlier.' She handed me my sword. 

I looked down at my empty holster. 'I wondered why it felt so light. Thanks.' 

'No problem.' She nodded, biting her lip. 'So what are you doing now?' 

'About to head to my dorm.' I replied. 

'Of course. I- I'll see you tomorrow?' 

'Yeah of course, we've got duelling class again tomorrow.' I laughed, turning to carry on walking. 'See you later.' 

'Wait, Katherine.'

I spun on my heel, looking at her questioningly. 

'Do you want to, maybe have breakfast with me tomorrow?' She asked. 

'Sure.' I nodded. 'You know where to find me. And don't worry, my friends won't mind.' 

'Great, well, I'll see you in the morning then.' She smiled. 

'Yep. Goodnight, Calliope.' 

'Goodnight Katherine.' 

I waved, heading back in the opposite direction and soon reached my dorm. Sage was sat cross-legged on her bed, painting her nails black. She looked up when I entered. 'Oh hey.' 

'Hi.' I leant my sword up against the wall and took my boots off, throwing myself down. 'Do you have the ingredients for a mild sleeping draught? I'm going to need it.' 

She nodded absentmindedly. 'Yeah, everything's in my bottom drawer.' She gestured to the chest of drawers on her side of the room. 

I crossed the room, opening the drawer and getting the herbs and ingredients I needed before setting them down on my dressing table and began crushing up some lavender. 

'So, what's this that Gideon tells me about you and Lady Lesso?' 

I frowned. 'What are you talking about.' 

'Gideon says he walked into sword-duelling class earlier, and you and Lesso were already there, you seemed kinda close.' 

'Close in what way?' I questioned. 'We were just talking.' 

'I know, but you two have been spending a lot of time together recently, I thought you'd have something to tell me by now.' She continued. 

'What's there to tell?' I muttered.

'Okay, what is with the blockage, Katherine? I'm your best friend, you're supposed to share the details! From what Gideon said, something definitely happened between you two earlier!' 

I sighed, putting my things down before turning in my chair to face her. 'There is honestly nothing to tell, Sage. We were talking, and yes, for a moment, I thought she was going to kiss me, but then luckily students came in at that point.' 

'You didn't want her to kiss you?' 

'No, I did, that's the problem.' I groaned. 'I really wanted her to, but I can't let it happen, that's the thing. I'm not going to do that to myself again.' 

'What, let your guard down?' 

'Precisely.' I turned back to my dresser, resuming what I was doing. 

'Katherine... you know you're still in love with her.' Sage said cautiously. 

'No I'm not.' I responded stubbornly. 'I miss her, yeah, but I'm not going to allow her to hurt me again.' I set down the finished sleeping draught, before conjuring up an empty whiskey glass and pouring it into it. 

'Do you really believe she'll let you down again?'

'It's not just that, Sage.' I sighed. 'I'm partly the reason we broke up, because I let my stupid conscience get to me and I couldn't shut up about Allegra. I fucked up too.' 

'I think the problem is that you can't forgive yourself for that, even though you've already forgiven Lesso. You're putting up a wall, not just to protect yourself, but because you can't let it go that you also played a part in the breakup. So maybe you need to start forgiving yourself for your actions.' 

I threw her a look, but deep down, I knew she was right.

'Besides, we're villains; guilt is one thing we're not supposed to feel.' She smirked, setting her nail polish on her bedside table. 

I laughed. 'I suppose you're right.'