Guilt & Grief (The Maze Runner)

Chapter 3: Day 5

Day 5

The gladers all had one question they were asking.

When are we getting out?

They heard nothing from the creators since the day they did what the note asked for them to gain their freedom. Everyone was just waiting. They were whispering to one another different things;

Are we getting out?

                                   How much longer?

Why did I do that?

          What did we do?

"Nick?" Leo asked from where he sat on the ground, looking up where Nick was laying in his hammock.

"Mhm?" Nick had his eyes closed.

Leo was now messing around with the dirt below him, looking at it. "We aren't getting out of here, are we?" Leo asked.

Nick slowly opened up his eyes, looking up at the sky through the wooden structure. "No. We aren't, Leo". Nick answered, his voice holding no emotion at all.

Leo nodded slowly. "I thought so...it's been awhile. I thought...it would've been the day after". Leo continued to mess around with the dirt.

Nick moved his arm behind his head. "I knew it was a lie. I didn't trust that note one bit".

Leo looked back up to him. "What do you mean?"

Nick sat up in the hammock, swinging his feet over, looking down at Leo. "We've been here for two years and they suddenly throw that on us? Sacrificing one of our own for freedom? Bullshit". Nick paused for a moment. "Even if I did think it was real, I still would not have changed my vote".

Leo nodded. "Me neither. Will you forgive Minho and Newt? The others?" Leo then asked.

"No". Nicks jaw clenched. "I won't forgive any of them. I'll have to put up with Newt since I work in the garden with him now...but...I can't. Every time I look at them I just..." Nick's right hand turned into a fist as it bounced on his leg.

"I just see someone that Clara trusted-"

"Nick". Leo gave him a look. He was breaking a rule.

"You going to tell Alby?" Nick asked boredly.

Leo instantly shook his head.

"I'm still going to say her name. Because she is-was". Nick closed his eyes for a moment, holding his tears back. "She was my friend".

As Nick held his eyes closed, he could see Clara clearly. One of his favorite memories of her. The prank she did of pouring a bucket of water on him and George.

And she was smiling. She was so happy.

Nick didn't want to open his eyes because he was afraid he was going to forget what she looked like.

But he did.

And when he opened his eyes, he was met with Leo's sad eyes looking up at him.

"Not saying her name is disrespecting her. Alby acts like she was nothing. He thinks we will just forget and move on, but not me. Not me". Nick breathed out.

"I got off track. Back to Minho and Newt, and the rest. I just see someone that Clara trusted and they grabbed a knife..." Nick gestured holding a knife in his hand, looking in the distance. "And stabbing her in the back. All those stabs". Nick made a few movements, stabbing the air and then slowly stopped. Tears built in his eyes once more.

"How could they do that?" Nick's voice cracked.

~~~

Newt walked into the medjacks, seeing Clint just sitting on a chair dissociating at a wall.  Newt took a few more steps in before stopping.

"Clint".

Clint looked over to Newt.  "Hey".

"What are you doing?"  Newt asked.  He's never seen him do nothing in here.

Clint shrugged.  "Sitting". 

Newt's gaze looked over to the deck of cards that were back in their package on the top shelf of the desk.  "Not playing cards?"  Newt asked confused, pointing to them.

Clint's eyes snapped over to the pile of cards for a moment and then to Newt.  There was anger in his eyes for a moment and then grief.  "I-I can't.  They remind me of Cl-her".  Clint was quick to change his wording.  He too hated the new rule.

"I tried to play a game to take my mind off what happened but this was her thing.  Not mine".  Clint then leaned forward in his chair, grabbing a half burned candle.  Clint stood up, lighting the candle with a match and then placing the candle next to the cards.  Looking at it sadly before slowly sitting back down.

"These are hers.  And if by some miracle she shows up one day...they'll be here...waiting for her".

Clint was in denial for his friend and mentor.

For the next year, the deck of cards just collected dust, never to be touched again. When Jeff came and pointed to the deck of cards and asked if they could play a game; Clint told him the only rule was to never touch the cards.