Trapped (1D and JB horror)

Chapter 20: Thoughts

"Aww, that's not cool," I muttered. The show that I was watching just got to the good part, only to be turned to a commercial about paper towels. My anger flared, but I just pouted at the TV instead.

"Babe? Are you gonna help me make dinner, or not?"

Justin's head popped into the room, a smile lighting up his beautiful face. I probably would've stayed on the couch if it wasn't for that smile that gets me every time.

It's been a week and a half since we left that dreaded house. All of our uk friends went back to their homes shaken up, Rachel probably the most. But none of them compared to me. Every day I had to remember the fact that I hurt Justin and Rachel, no matter how creepy or sci-fi it was. I had to remember the weird feeling that took me over when I was being possessed, and I felt like I was trapped inside my own body while Rebecca had all of the controls. I had to live knowing that everybody that was there now had to see my face and remember what happened that night, as if me having to deal with it wasn't enough.

Justin really helped me through this past week. He was determined to make life go on like that traumatic experience never happened. Not once did Justin ever bring up the incident with Harry, and I didn't want to mention it either. I knew that he must think about everything that went on, but he didn't let it show. He was his usual happy and adorable self around me, which was pretty much all of the time. We were inseparable.

"Yeah, why not. It's not like these stupid commercials will be over anytime soon. Who the hell cares if that paper towel can soak up five times more liquids than the average brand?"

He laughed. "Apparently someone in the world does. Come on now, I'm making tacos."

So we ventured out into the kitchen where there was the ingredients for tacos everywhere.

"Hard shell, or soft?" he asked me while going to the little boxes and bags that contained the wraps.

"Hard, please!"

He handed me a shell and I got started right away, putting in the meat and shredded cheese. When I got to the lettuce, I stopped.

A knife was sitting right there, it's large blade gleaming in the sunlight that was coming from the window.It was gigantic, capturing my attention.

Suddenly images of Justin filled my mind. They weren't nice one's, either. The thought of stabbing Justin with that knife appeared, and a wicked smile appeared on my face. Stabbing Justin would be perfect. He would bleed to death, and at my hand.

When my fingers touched the wooden handle of the knife, I blinked out of my evil trance. Immediatley I took steps back, dropping my unfinished taco on the counter.

Believe me when I say I never wanted to kill Justin. I just expected us to always be together, healthy, happy, and most importantly alive. When I had those thoughts, I didn't feel like myself, and it scared the crap out of me.

"Are you okay, hun?" Justin asked me, his eyebrows drawn in worry. I practically forced myself to smile and say as convincingly as I could, "Yeah I'm alright, just got a wave of nausea. Must've ate something bad or other, but it's over now. Actually, I think I need some fresh air. Do ya think I could go to the park for a few minutes? You know . . .Alone?"

He didn't look happy, but he nodded and went back to making his taco. With that I sped through the house, grabbing my coat and keys before I went to my little ferari that Justin got me for my birthday last year. Once in it, I made the engine roar to life. Then I was on the road.

I didn't even bother turning on the radio, all I could think about was my thoughts in the kitchen. It was like something came over me and thought those things, not me. the thoughts were foreign. Mine, but not mine at the same time.

"Face it, Tori. you're insane."

A small tear landed on the fabric of my shirt as I started crying. Everything in my life was going downhill fast. So fast that I didn't have much time to do anything before I felt like I would crack. there was something wrong with me, and I know it.

"Y-you'll leave," I told myself. That's what I'll do. I'll go up to London and make everything right with the people up there before I lock myself in a padded room and never let myself out.

I almost picked up a knife and stabbed Justin from sudden thoughts that felt like they weren't mine. What if I end up hurting someone down the road? Now I was scared of myself.

~

So this isn't my best, but next chapter will be better, I promise. You'll never see the next update coming! You can only guess...

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