Damsel in the Red Dress

Symphony in Ash

Um, sorry to bother you, but do you think I could get a ride?

Where on earth is my speech? What am I supposed to wear? What time is it?

Claro que si, querida. Pero...

My phone buzzes at the incoming texts, each one dog-piling onto the last like the unfolded laundry I find myself dumping from my third dresser drawer onto the swelling mountain on the floor.

...You're certain you're okay with riding in the car? We could probably arrange for something...

I throw the green sweater to the side and grab at the phone, quickly pushing my hair off my face only to have it fall back again and somehow worm its way into my mouth.

Si gracias, estoy bien. Could you pick me up from my house in about an hour?

Of course, darling.

It's three hours until the grand opening.

I've let him ruin my whole week...

Don't - don't think now-

I shake my head - kick an atrocious velveteen blouse off of the main pile and into a shambled little molehill.

Why did I even buy this?

The shadow raps on the door. Pounds on the door. Scratches at it like some sort of clawed ghost from a slasher movie.

I pile up jeans and tee shirts like a scream queen barricading the door and hurry to the closet to yank down the hangers.

Button-ups, sweatshirts.

This is what comes from never caring what you look like.

Living off of hand-me-downs trained me out of that - and even though I haven't been broke since I was 18, I guess I never got over it...

Skirts suits, pants suits.

My hand falters on the pink wrap dress...

I guess...

I take it down from its hanger and take it out into the light, smoothing my hand over the bubblegum-colored satin.

I guess we're doing this.

I force myself to breathe, as the shaking sets in.

No more hiding. Not even the scars.

Alright, Kat...

I try not to imagine what he's going to say. Not that I'll be able to see him until tomorrow because of the stupid visiting hours. I don't know how I'm supposed to live that long...

And after the surgery...who knows if he'll even be able to...

The shadow shrieks-

I slip my tee-shirt off and add it to the pile on the floor - pull on the dress, and tie the sash-

Don't think about that now-

My face burns as I rush to the bathroom and pull my hair into a messy sort of bun - try to fix my makeup through the trembling.

This is going to be okay. We're gonna-

I lean on the sink so I don't collapse.

Breathe, Licia. Just breathe.

What if someone from The Foundation is there- they're gonna-

Breathe

In front of all those people - god - not - I'm not ready-