AH collections

Choosing my confessions

Jeremwood
Word count: 5075
Chapters: 1

There was something soft about Ryan, Jeremy thought. Something vulnerable that he only caught a glimpse of when Ryan slept.

The Vagabond was never soft. He was a hardened professional, clipped words and judging stares. Mysterious in his silence, a dark, brooding figure; a bad boy straight out of some penny dreadful. That wasn't what had drawn him in, however. No, it was the delighted laughter following an explosion, the hysterical cackling before the rat-tat-tat of a machine gun. The childish glee at a heist gone right, no matter how stupid the plan. It was this glimpse of something more that got Jeremy to pay more attention. And once he started looking, he couldn't really stop.

The Vagabond wasn't nice, no. But Ryan was.

Ryan was funny and kind and indulged Jeremy when he found a stray to pet, patiently waiting for him to be done cooing over the cat or dog, even if it made them late.

It was Ryan he fell in love with.

Jeremy tensed, blinking his eyes open. The warm weight in his arms felt heavy all of a sudden, in a way it hadn't even when his arm was going numb from the pinched bloodflow. He stared at Ryan's sleeping form, looking incredibly peaceful and innocent and soft, as the realization sunk in. Black hair curled over his cheek, and Jeremy reached for it out of habit, brushing it back behind his ear, and turned the thought over in his head.

They'd been falling into bed together for several weeks now. It always went the same way: they returned to the penthouse and checked in with Geoff. Sometimes Jeremy waited for Ryan, other times Ryan waited for him. More often lately they came off a job together, Jeremy high on adrenaline and nearly vibrating out of his skin. A hand on his shoulder, a nudge, an offer to drive him home - and Jeremy manfully ignored the teasing he got for painting his Kuruma orange and purple, turning it useless for sneaking about. Jeremy took him up on that offer that first time, and every night since.

I'm in love, Jeremy thought to himself, watching the rise and fall of Ryan's chest. Figured that he went and fell hard for this dorky idiot, who flubbed if he spoke more than three words, who lobbed grenades with a breathless giggle, who still asked him if he wanted to come in for coffee, who-

Who kissed him, soft and hesitant that first night, just outside his apartment building. Who reluctantly admitted that he preferred to be the little spoon after the first week, who loved to stay in bed and just cuddle. Who trusted Jeremy enough to fall asleep in his arms.

Yeah, Jeremy realized. He was gone for this guy.

The admission left a giddy feeling in his chest, bubbling up with joy, and he snickered, burying his face in Ryan's neck. Ryan twitched in his arms, and Jeremy stilled, counting the seconds. Ryan's breathing evened out, and Jeremy couldn't help the fond smile breaking out across his face. He tightened his grip on Ryan and buried his face in his neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses behind.

"I love you," Jeremy whispered into the quiet dawn and muffled his breathless laughter against Ryan's shoulder. He felt light, as if he had grown wings overnight, floating on clouds. He kissed the warm skin under his lips and murmured full of relief and joy, "I love-"

In his arms, Ryan tensed.

Jeremy broke off, lifting his head. The room was weirdly silent, except for Jeremy's heart beating loud and fast in his chest. It took a moment for the realization to sink in- Ryan's breathing had gone quiet.

Jeremy swallowed and turned his head, meeting a single open, blue eye. He cleared his throat.

"Mornin'."