14. You are all seriously sick

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Jungkook’s POV

Cutting — using a sharp object to cut your skin on purpose until it bleeds — is a form of self-injury. People sometimes self-injure by burning their skin with the lit end of a cigarette, a lighter, or a match. Some people turn to this behavior when they have problems or painful feelings and haven't found another way to cope or get relief.

Most of the time, people who cut themselves don't talk about it or let others know they’re doing it. But sometimes they confide in a friend. Sometimes a friend might find out in another way.

Without help, people who cut also may continue to feel socially isolated and depressed. People who self-injure may have other problems such as eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or severe depression that require long-term professional care.

“Hey!” Eunwoo calls out suddenly from my behind, almost startling me. I turn around on the desk chair, averting my attention from my laptop to him.

“Why are you now reading about self-harm?” he inquires looking at the screen with furrowed eyebrows.

“Nothing,” I shrug. “Why did you call?”

“Light in the bathroom isn't working. Can I take your lamp?” he asks.

“Okay,” I nod and turn my attention back to the computer. Eunwoo stays behind me for one or two seconds before he turns and walks to the bathroom.

It's been more than an hour since I'm reading about self harm from various sites. Although Taehyung promised me he won't cut himself again, I'm not sure he'll keep his promise. And the internet says, it's really difficult to dissuade people from self harming, especially if they have got addicted to cutting for a long time.

But Taehyung just started cutting last week. Not sure, maybe he used to cut his thighs or other areas. But I hope he started cutting only last week. Or it's gonna be difficult to help him.

And does he have eating disorders? I doubt he eats lunch and dinner. I need to check on that. I'll clear it tomorrow itself.

I know it's all my fault. I need to fix the mess I've made. I need to somehow help Taehyung. I'm not again standing silent with those monsters while they bully and torture people. I'm calling off my friendship with them, no matter what. I can't be the reason for someone else's tears. I'll reach nowhere with all those innocent people's curses on me. I need to become good. At least now.

And now is the perfect chance to become good. Gayoung offered to help and she can help. She is the city police commissioner's daughter. And she is smart and bold. Nobody will dare to speak against her. If Taehyung is her friend, nobody will touch him. It's a good thing Gayoung came. I also need to keep her as my friend.

After reading some more through Wikipedia and referring to various other sites on how to help people who self harm, I finally close the laptop feeling exhausted, and go to my bed.

Eunwoo is now sitting on his bed, playing some video game on his tab. We still haven't talked. He is always preoccupied with his video games, movies, songs, and other stuff. Or maybe he just doesn't like me. I don't know. Anyway, I don't have any plans to go to him and start a conversation. So I lie back on my bed and pull up my covers, thinking about what to do tomorrow.

I wake up to the sound of someone knocking on my door along with Eunwoo groaning on his bed in half slumber. I reluctantly let my eyelids open and tilt my head to look at the alarm clock. It's only 5: 50 Am. Who is knocking so early on our doors?

Football practice is at 6:30. And today is Wednesday. I don't have football practice today. Then maybe it's Eunwoo's basketball friends calling him for practice.

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