21. Not giving up too fast

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Jungkook's POV

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was beyond shocked.

 When Taehyung told me his friend Han  looked like me, it hadn't surprised me that much. But now after seeing the photos and knowing Han is his brother, I don't know what to say. Why did his brother look so much like me?

 I took a courageous step today, not only just to get disappointed but also to get shocked beyond the limits.

 Imagine your crush brother zoning you when you finally confess. My case was worse than that.

 Anyway, I had only a very little hope that Taehyung would accept my confession. But I couldn't help but confess my feelings to him. I was feeling suffocated the whole time I was at home. I couldn't take his face out of my mind. I was thinking about his perfect plump lips and tasting them. Then his beautiful eyes, I want to kiss them shut so that he won't look at me with that and make me totally crazy. His boxy smile and his dimples, I want to ask him to smile and then kiss and suck endlessly over those dimples. His clear neck, I want to kiss him there. His long fingers, what would be the feeling when those long fingers....

 Now I'm sure I'm not straight at all. I'm fucking gay for Taehyung. I never had such fantasies about anyone before. I jerked myself off thinking about him. Honestly, this is the first time I'm thinking such weird things.

 And then I was feeling extremely worried thinking he was alone at dorm. At night I woke up dreaming those four bullying him and Taehyung cutting his wrist again. Although they were all expelled from school, I couldn't help but think about them climbing the back wall at night and knocking on Taehyung's room door. I was relieved only after calling Taehyung and hearing his voice. Actually, I wasn't totally relieved. I was still worried whether he was alright. But today morning I thoroughly checked him and there are no new cuts or anything, if at all he doesn't cut his thighs and chest.

 I had thought about telling Taehyung 'sorry' and leaving his room calmly if he rejects me. But when he actually did it, I got angry and accused him of making me think he likes me. I don't know why I acted like that at that moment. I couldn't accept the rejection. I couldn't bear to lose him.

 But after seeing the pics, I didn't know what to do. I just quickly apologized to him and ran out of his room.

 I ignored him the whole day after that. We had Maths second hour. Taehyung was already in class when I reached and there were empty chairs on his right and left. But I walked to the extreme back and sat down. At lunch break, I told Eunwoo that my Mom packed me lunch but I left it at the dorm, so I will go get it and then join them. But I didn't join them and I didn't have lunch cause there was no such lunch.

 Now it's almost 8 pm and I'm alone in my room, lying on my bed, thinking about Tae. I can't still take him off of my mind. Now I'm thinking about him even more. It's making me crazy.

 By the way, I'm alone cause Eunwoo went to Taehyung's dorm. He said he and Gayoung are partners in the physics lab and so he is gonna go discuss with her, the experiment they'll be doing tomorrow. He also invited me to join him but I said I have works.

 Suddenly the door clings open. I quickly shoot up from the bed. It's none else than Eunwoo. Shit!

 Eunwoo frowned at me whilst walking inside. “I think you said you have works,” he said.

 “I was taking a break,” I said.

 “I see. But why don't I see any books on the desk or bed or anywhere?” he asked looking around.

 “I just put them back in the shelf,” I said running a hand through my hair.

 “Hmm....Jungkook, so you like Tae but he rejected you and now you are ignoring him, right?” Eunwoo asked.

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