Invisible String

Chapter 9 -I'm so sorry

"I'm so sorry, GenGen," Veronica repeats for what I think is the tenth time on the other end of the phone.

I settle onto the bed I haven't been able to leave all day. The sheets are too warm, and the mattress too comfortable; it would take an army of people to get me up from here.

"It's not your fault what's happening. Stop apologizing," I whisper, feeling the weight of guilt crushing me.

All I seem to hear these days is: "I'm sorry, Genesis" or "This isn't your fault." I have two issues with those statements. Firstly, while the compassion from my friends and family is comforting, it can't erase the pain and shame consuming me day after day. Each apology only serves to remind me of the mess I'm in, offering no real solution, although it's not their job to provide one either. And secondly, even though I know rationally that I'm not responsible for my ex's actions, a part of me still blames myself for not seeing the warning signs earlier. I'm haunted by the question of how I could have been so naive not to realize who Noah really was.

As much as I'd like to go out and make a statement to silence all the tabloids, that not only talk about me but have also been camped out in my parents' front yard for the past four days, I can't do it on strict orders from Alexa. She advised me to disappear from the face of the earth for a while, until things calmed down. It's a hard order to follow, especially when every minute of silence feels like an eternity of agony.

Meanwhile, Noah seems to be publicly enjoying my downfall. His social media is filled with mocking comments and cruel memes. While he struts around as if he's the greatest man on the planet just for sleeping with me, I'm the slut who let herself be filmed. The irony of seeing him succeed while I suffer in silence is a bitter pill of reality I have to swallow day after day.

"Do you know who did it?"

"Noah, who else? I should say I'm surprised, because at first I was, but not anymore. I've spent the past few days going over our entire relationship, and I've come to the conclusion that this is exactly the kind of person Noah is; I just never wanted to see it. I was blinded by his..."

"Penis?" my friend finishes for me, making me laugh for the first time in four days.

"Exactly," I reply, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Alexa called this morning to confirm my suspicions; turns out the idiot created a Twitter account where he leaked the videos, which, although anonymous, was linked to his phone number. Jerk."

"Ugh, I never thought he was right for you. Did I ever mention that before?" I hear her as I look up at the ceiling of the room, frowning at her statement, something I seemed to do a lot these days.

"No."

"Well, I'm telling you now. You were too good for him; you need a real man for yourself, a man like Logan."

"Oh, delicate way to bring him up, tell me, how long did you wait to bring his name into the conversation?"

"Forty minutes. I almost died."

Ronnie must be the only person who could make me laugh at times like these. I hold her in high regard.

"I can only imagine."

"Did you really think I wouldn't find out you're staying with that sexy man?"

"Alexa asked me not to tell anyone, only immediate family, and that's not me saying you're not..."

"I'm immediate family!" she complains as I knew she would. "I'm your best friend!"

"I'm sorry, but now you know."

"And it wasn't easy to find out, your brother isn't a man who breaks easily."

"What did you do?" I  get alarmed, when Ronnie wanted to know something, she tended to be somewhat exaggerated, and sometimes violent.