Ch. 17 Forgiveness?

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*Bhaumik House, Tulsipur*

*Midnight*

The dark room is a havoc. Everything is lying here and there,  broken and shattered.  In the corner of the dark room, Saudamini was sitting down, hugging her knees, and crying. Crying out. Crying out loud but it was louder. The sound of her heartbreak was louder than her crying. Somnath's words kept repeating in her mind again and again.

'Vivah kar lia unhone. Kisi aur ko humari bodhi bana dia.'

Once in a while, Anirudh's words also replayed in her mind, as if her own mind was mocking her condition.

'Jo mein kehna chahta hu tumse, Aur jo tum sunna chahti ho mujhse, uski gawaah banegi aaj ki raat'

Amidst her tears, she would start laughing at her own self, like a madwoman. How could she be so stupid? How could she be so foolish? So foolish to trust a guy who gave up his great career in a foreign country just for the sake of change? A guy who went against his dear family just for the sake of change- his fitoor? Nothing comes before it for him. How could she trust someone like him? She was the fool here for trusting a person like him.

Anirudh enters the house in a half drunk state.

"MINI! MINI! TUM KAHA HO?" He bursts out crying. "Mini! Kam se kam tum to meri baat suno, mujhe samajhne ki koshish karo." He falls on his knees.

Dida is watching him from behind a pillar. She goes to her granddaughter's room with a lantern. She opens the door to find a messy, dark room with Soudamini curled up in a corner. She looks up at her upon hearing the noise and immediately shakes her head away and shouts,"Aankho m roshni chubh rahi h dida. Jaao yaha se. Jab zindagi m andhera chaa jaye to fir har roshni aag ke barabar ho jati h."

"Par beta Anirudh aaya h bahar. Tujhe khoj raha h."

"Haa to jaake usse kehdo, ki ab se mujhe na khoje. Jisse apne jivan ka sathi banaya h ussi ko apni baat sunaye or samjhaye." She says, as she had heard Anirudh's voice.

Dida leaves the room and comes to the hall, where Anirudh is sitting on his knees and shouting and crying. As soon as he sees her, he rans up to her.

"Dida, Mini kaha h? Vo apne kamre m h na? " Without waiting for her response he runs towards her room.

He starts banging on the closed door.

"Mini! Mini! Mini, meri baat to suno. Ek baar mujhe mauka to do."

Soudamini sees him through the see through glass on the door and almost wavers, about to open the door for him. But once again, Somnath's words ring in her ears.

'Vivah kar lia unhone. Kisi aur ko humari bodhi bana dia.'

She stops in her tracks and instead drags a cupboard in front of the door, blocking it completely. She rushes to the window and sits beside it. Tears are falling continuously from her eyes.

Some part of her was eager to listen to Anirudh, to let him explain what happened. But then her mind questioned her heart, 'If there was something more important than my trust to him, then is he really the one for me?' This battle between her heart and mind had trapped her completely.

Anirudh saw her beside the window and rushed there, banging again on the window. But Soudamini gave no answer to his attempts to talk to her. Desperate, he looked around himself and saw a vase on a corner table. He brought the vase and thrashed it on the window, the glass breaking and shattering everywhere. The noise caused Soudamini to come out of her stature.

"Mini! Mini, kaanch toote to nahi jud sakta, jaanta hu. Lekin tumhara dil jodne ki koshish to kar sakta hu na."

"......."

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