Second Lap

You Are The Reason

Carlos' POV - Saturday, December 23rd

               I took a deep breath, mustering the courage to go after Via. It was now or never. As I made my way through the crowd, I spotted her heading towards the bathroom. My pace quickened, and soon I was by her side, gripping her wrist before she could slip away.

"Carlos?!?"

"I... I..."

"What is it? What do you want?" she asked, freeing her wrist from my grasp.

                 Meeting her gaze head-on, I softly, but firmly, pushed her against the wall.

"Carlos!"

                 Drawing nearer, I encircled my arms around her waist.

"What... what are you doing?", she stammered.

"Putting my arms around your waist.''

"Wh-why?"

"Because..."

"Stop putting your arm around my waist. It's so...", she hesitated.

"So what?", I inquired playfully.

"It's weird, and I hate it because it's doing things to me that I don't like."

''You enjoy what I do to you. You're just scared of the way I make you feel because you don't want to feel anything.''

"That's not true!" she interjected.

''Yes, it is.''

"Stop it, damn it!" she exclaimed, a hint of frustration in her voice.

                I could see she was fighting back tears as I once again took hold of her wrists, bringing her hands to rest against my chest.

''I'll never stop. You and I both know you feel something. Via, please stop lying to yourself.''

"I don't care about you!" she protested, attempting to pull away from me.

                 I released my grip, a fleeting flicker of hurt crossing my eyes before I regained my composure.

"Then look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel something for me."

''Do you ever stop to think and care about how I actually feel? Do you even know how many times I've cried over you in the past five years?''

"Via, I—"

"I gave you everything, Carlos, everything. I opened up to you and you just walked away and left me, discarded me and never came looking for me." she said, her gaze falling. "I tried to move on, but no one compares to you. I wanted to feel nothing whenever I saw you, but every time I looked into your eyes I felt everything all at once. The truth is, I'm terrified as hell to want you, but here I am, wanting you anyway. I promise I'll try to get over you, I do, I just-''

               I gently lifted her chin, compelling her to meet my gaze. I could see the pain behind them, pain I had caused, but I could also see a tiny spark of desire and that was enough for me to go on.