Arizona Robbins- One Shots

Deja Vu

Imagine it was Callie who came back and used the "so picture this" speech

Arizona POV
I'm in the kitchen cooking when I hear a knock at the door. I open the door and immediately thrown backwards as my daughter jumps into my arms "mommy" my arms embrace her and I am thankful I am steady on my prosthetic to hold us both up. She's 6 now and getting big but never too big for her mommy's cuddles "hi princess" I squeeze her right, tears streaming down my face. "Mommy I'm coming home, I'm coming to live with you because I hate New York and I don't want new friends, I want you" she snuggles straight into me again and I notice Callie stood by the door holding two bags, one for her and one for Sofia. "Get your bag from mama and put it in your room, I'll be there soon baby girl, I'm so happy your home" I say giving her a final squeeze.

I watch her run into her room, smiling that my baby girl was home before turning to Callie "why" was all I could ask before she interrupted me "Ok so picture this I'm in New York and everything is great and the people are so nice and the job is amazing and I'm doing work that actually feels important like I can actually see I'm making a difference to veterans lives and I can build these incredible limbs"

Her smile is there but it's not real, it's forced, like she believes what she's saying should make her happy but it doesn't, the mascara sat under her eyes and the bags that are no longer covered in foundation suggest she's cried the whole journey from New York to Seattle and then her smile drops

"But I'm crying constantly, I didn't think anyone noticed and then the guy I work with asks me what's wrong and I say I want to go home, he offers for me to finish early before realising I meant home to Seattle, to my family then he asked if they could replace me would I leave and I open my mouth to say no but what really comes out is yes so I did it, I realised I made the biggest mistake of my life, leaving you, Penny, New York, taking Sofia, it was all so stupid so I came back"

Tears fill my eyes at every word she says, I cannot believe she is stood here and my brain cannot process any of the words she's saying. It's like history repeating itself but I left my girlfriend, she left her wife and took our daughter to be with another woman. My head is telling me to close the door, that every feeling you have right now if exactly how she felt all those years again and she closed the door. But you understand it now, the pain of seeing the person you love with all your heart stood there when you least expect them. But I can't close the door, my body is frozen because my heart is reminding me how it feels to be on the other side of the closed door, and how my daughter is 20ft away and is going to ask why mama isn't staying.

My head and my heart are fighting, my head screaming slam the door, throw her out, laugh at her, tell her you never want to see her again but my heart, my hearts saying let her in, forgive her mistakes, kiss the pain away. I can see the pain in her eyes, the fear, the strength it's taken her to come back, I can see it all and she's silently begging for forgiveness. But my body remains frozen.

"I know I messed up Arizona, god I wish I could turn back time and slap myself silly because what the hell was I thinking" she almost laughed "I sat there yesterday thinking why the hell did I do this? I didn't love Penny, I didn't even want to go to New York, I didn't want to take our daughter away or even leave Seattle but I did and I was scared"

I feel that, I didn't want any of it either, sitting in that courtroom hearing that I was not Sofia's real mom because I didn't give birth to her broke my heart. I was there from the second she was born, I'm there for the good times and the bad, the nightmares, the sickness, the vacations, the late night pizza dates, I'm her mom and it was like I didn't even exist.

"I got scared because the break we had worked, the 30 days worked and I thought oh god, why does a break work, this means we need to break it off to survive but now I'm realising that we just needed a longer break, we needed to continue fixing ourselves to be able to come back together because there has never been and there will never be anyone else who has my heart like you do"

I can feel the tears falling, everything I needed her to say before she left it being said now but I'm scared it's too late, have we already ruined any remainder of our marriage? Is there anything left to salvage?

"So I know this is a lot to ask, and I hate myself for getting us to a point where I even have to ask but please, please Arizona can we just try, I don't need you to promise me anything, please can we just sit together, I just feel so alone and all I want is my wife because" her sobs grow louder and her voice begins to choke "I-i only ever-r need yyou"

My instinct kicks in before she drops to the floor and I wrap my arms around her body, pulling her into my own as we sit in each others embrace on the floor "I'm here, your not alone" I whisper, her sobs subside after a few minutes "let's get you inside, come on" she stands then helps me up, "let me just check on Sofia ok?" She nods slightly positioning herself on the edge of the sofa.

"She's fast asleep bless her" I announce breaking Callie from her thoughts. I sit down next to her taking her hands in mine to stop her picking at the skin on her fingers "it's ok, your home now, as long as your home I can make it all better" I move my one hand to the side of her face to wipe the tears that are still falling, "I know I don't deserve you but I don't know how to live without you" she whispered trying to keep the tears from falling "you don't need to know, I'm here, your here, Sofia is here and as mad as I am at you right now and as much as I want to scream I am just so thankful you came back" I say honestly "because Calliope, I can't live without you either" her eyes lift to meet mine and I see the first real smile of the night. "We can deal with everything tomorrow but for tonight, let's go to bed, both of us, together, to our bed" I confirm knowing she would be unsure, she nodded and stood, as I stood I felt her arms embrace me tightly again and I wrapped my arms around her to hold her too, no matter how mad I am, nothing will ever feel better than having my wife in my arms, I took her hand and lead her to the bedroom, but she stopped as we reached the door and said "You look really pretty by the way".