Stray Kids ONE SHOTS

A crack made his heart throb(Sad, Jeongin/Bangchan)

TW: Suicide attempt, Pills. 

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.

The bottle scrambled softly in Jeongin's shaking hands, he could feel his heartbeat in his ears, he felt the tears dripping down his cheeks.
Jeongin sniffled, just softly as he didn't want Chan to hear him, even though he had headphones on when the younger last saw him, he still didn't want to risk it.

The pills in the bottle scramble as he grabs it, his hands are shaking so bad he can barely get a grip on the lid of the small bottle,  he is not even sure what kind of pills they are, just sleeping pills, he googled and drinking alcohol and taking sleeping pills can kill you, it's moments like these he was thankful his roommate had such problem sleeping.

Jeongin's shaky hands unscrews the lid with his still shaking hands, and pours a couple into his hand, the pill bottle is set down on the cold bathroom floor next to his thigh, and he grabs an already open bottle of wine and places two pills on his tongue and swallows them down with the wine, at least it was his favourite wine, and a gift from Seungmin, god Seungmin, he made sure to hug his younger hyung the tightest earlier today, he didn't question it, which was at least good for Jeongin, Seungmin would be a good new maknae, at least I.N thought so. 

Two more pills were placed in his mouth, and washed down with the red wine, and then another two, and more wine, and another two, and more wine, his head was starting to really spin, he was eight pills down, his goal was ten cause that was for sure going to kill him, and he did want to die, so he had to take ten. He wanted to die, it felt so strange to want to die, cause he was a happy person, had a great family, great friends, and amazing fans, but he just wasn't actually happy, he just had everything to make him happy, and he thought he was happy, he would be happy all day, but then would get home to his bedroom, and behind closed door, he didn't feel happy. Something about being alone made him realise that no matter how many people loved him, he didn't love himself, couldn't find it in him to love who he was and be happy as he was. Jeongin did think about a lot of things that he could try to fix himself, he even tried somethings, like going to see this amazing therapist, she was such a kind woman, she had lived for a long, and was happy, she had learned to be herself, and love who she was. Jeongin hoped to do the same, but he felt worse, he felt abnormal going to a therapist, cause only people who have something wrong in their head, goes to therapy, and he didn't like the idea of having something wrong with him. He wanted to have nothing wrong with him, but he couldn't love himself, he couldn't feel like a person anytime he wasn't playing a person. He wasn't anyone, but the person he was pretending to be, and he didn't feel like pretending. 

He takes the last two pills, and chugs down as much of the wines as he can, he was really lightheaded, so he lays down, his back on the cold bathroom floor, the shower running faintly in the background had started to become a vivid sound, it was like he was hearing threw cotton balls, his sight was blurry and patchy. This was his final moment. 

Chan takes his headphones on, and yawns heavily, only now hearing the sound of the shower in the distance, Jeongin must be having a shower, he thought to himself, and then shifted, damn it he needed to piss. Chan knows IN doesn't mind if he uses the toilet while the other was showering, so he figured he could just go an knock, and then piss, and then get right back to work. 

His knuckles hit the door in three soft knocks, and then Chan waits, then three more knocks and a few seconds wait. Now six knocks, and Chan calls out for the younger, but nothing, which Chan found weird, the younger usually heard him even when washing his hair. He knocks again and calls out once more, before giving up and just trying to door handle, to his surprise it was unlocked, cause IN always locked the door when in the bathroom. Chan's heart drops when he sees a pale hand, laying on the floor, and then all of Jeongin, his pale, lifeless body lying on the floor, a bottle of his sleeping pills sitting nicely next to him, and a bottle of red wine, was lying on the floor, a bit of wine spilling around the bottle. Chan can't breath, he can't move, he can't do anything but stand there frozen with tears running down his face. He breaths, and moves, he runs to the other room to grab his phone and then runs back to the floor, to cheek on the younger, no pulse, he wasn't breathing and he was pale, he was dead. Chan dials 911, and sets it on speaker, hearing the rings, his hands fall into position to do CPR on the younger body, as the 911 operator answers the phone.

"911 what's your emergency?" A calm voice calls, and Chan pushes his hands on the youngers chest, and lifts up, then pushes down again, then he takes a deep breath.

"I'm at ******* apartment 4. I need an ambulance for a male in his early 20s who has overdosed on sleeping pills, and has consumed alcohol with them. He has been out for what i think is 10 to 15 minutes, He is unresponsive, no pulse, not breathing. I've started compressions." Chan states, he learnt the right way to state and emergency for fun, and never thought he would have use of it. He was out of breath as he kept doing compressions, and heard the operator that it was good that he had checked for a pulse and started compression, and that the ambulance was 6 minutes out. 

"What's your name?" She questions softly.

"Chan." Was all he said threw heavy breathing and loud sobbing, he didn't even register that he was sobbing the way he did, he was so out of breath, and his arms already felt tired as he kept pushing down on the younger chest. A crack made his heartthrob, and he sobs so loudly. "I broke his rib...oh god."

"That's okay, Chan, Just keep going, you're doing amazing." The operator calls on the other end of the phone. "Only 3 more minutes." Chan was so thankful that he lived in the big city, and ambulances were so quick to come, his arms were so tired, and his throat was dry from all the crying. "You're doing amazing, they should be there right now."

Chan has nearly no memory of what happened next, he remembers hands grabbing him and pulling him to the side, and keeping him calm, he remembers a male voice reassuring him that he had done a great job, and that they could take it from there, he remembers seeing them roll his maknea away on a gurney, as he sobbed violently, he remembers his body giving him on him and collapsing.

. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.