the sacred texts

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Hey guys.....so uhh...it's been a while, as of right now i'm currently working on some of my OCs' character sheets on toyhouse (i'm at the final 6, woop woop!!!) I have plans on writing another fanfic soon but that isn't for a good while, plus i haven't really posted any stories since that shrump fic back in september but even then, that story wasn't even RECENT!!! I wrote that fic when i was 13 AND I'M 18 NOW!!! So i figured to sorta hold you guys over until my next fic (THAT I'LL WRITE NOWADAYS AND NOT JUST A REUPLOAD OF AN OLD ONE) i'll just share this pokemon WAP parody i wrote

As you probably saw in the description, i wrote this back when the song "WAP" had only JUST came out back when i was 14. I would say something like "oh i wrote this bc covid had just started and i was bored during quarantine!!!" But i'm homeschooled (well...WAS, since i kinda don't need to go to school anymore) so i'm just gonna say this: i am not a songwriter and i feel like that's EXTREMELY obvious by the fact that i was struggling HARD to make the lyrics match the syllable count of the original song and making it all rhyme (at one point i straight up mentioned the african country of uganda for no other reason than i needed something to rhyme with "sandaconda")

...anyways, i'll stop yapping and just let you read the damn lyrics already...

WAP (Wailord And Palkia) by cardigan backyardigan and megan the male adult horse (official lyrics)

There's trainers in this house
There's trainers in this house
There's trainers in this house
There's trainers in this house
There's trainers in this house
I said pokemon geek, 7 days a week
Wailord and palkia make that charizard game weak
Ahh
Yeah you messin' with my wailord and palkia
Bring some potions and some stones for this wailord and palkia
Give me everything you got for my wailord and palkia
Pikachu's got electric charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put some berries right in it's face
Yeah i got pokemon cards
Card in deck, muk used bite
Then it disables your overdrive
Look at your cards, then at my eyes
Then with your marill, you use dive
You use vine whip, now i'm surprised
Jynx used role play, yeah she disguised
I WANT YOU TO USE STRENGTH ON THAT BIG MAC TRUCK
SO I CAN GET MEW BY THE GIRAGE
Matcha cream alcremie
Out in public, make a scene
Pokemon players aren't that clean
But lemme tell ya, i got miracle seed
Battle me, brawl with me
Palkia's always beside of me
Quick use dive before you get inside the sea
I always teach 'em all these TMs but never let 'em use them, B
I'd run away before ever joining an evil team
Trainership is friendship
Ask for an egg, yeah that's breedership
You really ain't never looking forward to the gyms
They didn't want to fight you when you came
Now get your moves and your HMs for my wailord and palkia
Bought a phone so i can call about my wailord and palkia
Pay tuitions so that i can fight with my wailord and palkia
Now make it rain to enhance the moves of my wailord and palkia
Look i need a harden TM, i need a fire stone
I need a happiny so i can teach it pound
Not a seviper, i need a sandaconda
Complete the dex for the good of uganda
I got some money
The pokemart i'm headed
Palkia wants all of the credit
Won all the battles, gym badges embedded
I let them defeat me, now i need a medic
I don't wanna quit, i wanna drink coke
I wanna win, got lots of hope
I WANT YOU TO CATCH THAT LITTLE ELECTRIC MOUSE THAT LIVES ALL THE WAY IN KANTO
Water's effective 'gainst fire, just like some dasani
Ground type is so dry, boltund is a doggy
I ride on a gogoat, leaving worries behind me
Pokemon contests, yeah i'm tryna sign me (up!)
Your growlithe imma beat it
Tackle, sweet kiss
Switch my team, man i feel like i'm cheatin'
Put muk in the PC
Now i have something to believe in
Never lose a fight
And i'm looking for a challenge
In the battles, i'm the one to beat ya
If you hate my guts, i respect your opinion
Yeah i got a big demeanor
I could sweep your team before i ever meet ya
If we can't hang, i don't give a dang
You can't hurt my feelings, i don't feel pain
If you see me and ask "wanna battle?"
When i catch 'em all, imma give 'em names, ah
Yeah you messin' with my wailord and palkia
Bring some potions and some stones for this wailord and palkia
Give me everything you got for my wailord and palkia
Now use tiktok, play some pop
For my wailord and palkia
Now get some incense and some gems
For my wailord and palkia
I'm talkin' wap wap wap
I got a wailord and palkia
Macaroni in a pot for my wailord and palkia, huh

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