Unwanted

4

Liya POV

We are grouped together for ore lab works , I am with siyar. I guess he will not be bored with me. It is my worst nightmare, I am always insecure about if other person who is with me will ne able to enjoy with me or not, kind of I feel like i am really a boring person, who doesn't know how to crack jokes and be cool in front of other people.

We started our works basically it's a chemical lab where we will be doing our works for 3hrs every 2 days a week. I was preparing myself for being with him fighting my insecurity I wish everything goes well.

We started our work together,but to my surprise he was not at all bored by anything, he is just so silent like me doing his job, without caring about anyone even me. Eventhough he is not even minding me , I felt kind of relieved. I didn't even know why maybe because I dont want to act anymore, and be myself . For some weird reason I just liked the silence, just some casual conversion based on our experiments.

Siyar pov:
I got grouped with a girl for the lab sessions , she found to be some how confused around everyone. She was a silent one like she had some kind of thoughts running in her head. Whatever she is good at her work, but she was kind of observing me.

Like that 2 weeks passed by, they both just remained the same. But both started developing some kind of feelings for each other. Ther never communicated properly other than  there works. For same reason they both starting liking the silence between them, and the small small eye contacts they both make in between. It feels like there eyes talk more of emotions. They couldn't take there eyes from each other some time, due to how intense it felt, even with that It felt hard for both of them to Express there feelings orally. Both of them are enjoying these small interactions between them.

Liya pov :
Seriously what is wrong with me, Siyar he is just messing with my head. I dont know why it feels so good to be with him, where I didn't have to have a fake face, but just me myself . I am just confused, I feel like I love him. Is it just a infatuation I feel l, but I feel so comfortable with him. But what if he is not enjoying being with me, what if he is just holding himself back maybe because I am not talking.  I really don't know,  but I want to be with him.  I feel less lonely thinking about him, somehow I just feel attracted towards him.

Today we have  full day lecture class, due to our exams. I am sitting with Maria and Giya . They are my friends whom I got recently I like being with them. Both are good at studies and even help me explaining things. We three do make a good trio.

2 hrs over, it's the third hour basically we were having a blast talking about there life and experience somehow I did enjoy listening to them.

I started enjoying my college life with the girls and him.  It feels like I got someone I could share my thoughts and fears. Some days I used to cry talking to them but both of them always stood by me, and never judged me or told me to stop crying for stupid reasons which was the thing most of them told. So somehow I felt valued being with them . Thats how my life is going right now.

3hr our lecturer came , Dr.Subin he is a kind of strict so most of the students disliked him, he cannot tolerate any kind of disturbances in class. So our class , everyone was quite. Most of them were sleeping with there eyes open , we three were kind of having fun looking at them and Maria told about here school days which unknowingly made some noise, sir got as and me being sitting in the middle asked to move to  other blank back bench.
I moved there, everyone kind of looking at me I felt ashamed as everyone was looking at me . The class continued.
After me so many were scolded for various reasons, but he did made others to change there seats. Like that he called some Siyar he was actually sleeping, sir caught him and scold him so badly as if he was so much done with this class and to my surprise he made him sit in my bench.

I couldn't seriously understand myself I felt like I am blushing ore something but why should I feel that I dont know maybe it's the first time we are sitting this close to each other. Even in our sessions we will be more into our works that we wont get much time. He sat in the other side of the bench kind of close to me. Our hands were touching each other, eventhough I did have some space to my right, but I didn't felt like to move from this proximity.

We were sitting straight , but I unknowingly I put my left  hand between the space us after some time I felt a hand upon my hand, it was his hand upon my hand. I just got chills like  I dont know how to Express them. God...but for him just like a reflex he took his hand away from mine and apologized.

I didn't know how to react I just signalled it's okay. I didn't know I felt kind of sad and ashamed of myself, like am I doing things wrong, like I did have space left towards my right but I didn't move,like I liked the proximity but him, he did respected my space and even apologize for a small act. Aahhh these thoughts are killing me.