EMBRACE YOUR DARK SIDE

Something

My rendition of an empty can of Coke abandoned on the side table

Remnants of what used to be my personality scattered on the inner walls
Taunting or encouraging me; I have yet to decide.
I want to get up and be productive, but days turn into nights as I lay here scrolling through my phone.
I chuckle here and there at videos but never pay attention to anything.
Am I sad? Am I mad? I have no idea.
What I do know, is that I do not feel like interacting with any kind of life form.
Texts flow in by the tens. Friends, family, acquaintances, clients even.
I simply read them and then mark them as unread.
I do not cry. I do not huff in frustration. I do not scream in anger. I simply, be.

Dusk gives way to dawn and I awake from an equally drab slumber.
"What will I do today?" A question I ask myself every morning.
My gym clothes laid out, ready to be worn and and used for that 6 am skip roping I wrote down as a new years resolution.
6 am turns into 10 am as I stare at my already laced shoes.
"Well, it's too late in the morning for a workout."
"Maybe if I skip breakfast it will make up for it."Perfect compromise.

10 am turns to 6 pm before I emerge from my room in search of my first and only meal for the day.
The aches in my stomach and my head go ignored as I consume a barely nutritious meal and return to whence I came.
The book I started months ago stares at me with a bookmark causing an indent on the early pages of the book. I stare back at it and allow my mind to wander into nothingness.

Dusk is here again. I wonder when that happened.
"It's time for me to take a shower." I prompt myself, but my body remains motionless for awhile.
9 pm, I step into the shower, clean my body, brush my teeth, dry myself, moisturise, change into my night attire and re-enter my bed.
"I need to change my sheets tomorrow." I think to myself as I scroll through my phone. Hours later, I fall into another hopefully dreamless slumber.

And, repeat.