Skinny Love

Chapter 10

We weren't perfect. It may have seemed that way from the outside, but believe me we weren't. And I mean despite the fact that we were both "troubled" and met in the most unorthodox way possible. Sometimes she drove me crazy. And I mean she just cried so much, it was ridiculous!

I remember one fight that had just jumped out of nowhere. We'd been sitting on her hospital bed, a row of cards between us and I was actually really concentrated on winning when the nurse bursts in.

"Okay Francesca, I'm sorry to be dramatic but if you aren't going to eat you have to spend the next visiting hour with Dr. Mathe." She said giving Stella a stern look. "It is unacceptable to go the whole day without eating anything."

"Fine," she said avoiding my eyes. She looked at the nurse with I think the meanest look I'd ever seen on her face. "I'll eat. Fine."

"Okay, I'll make the arrangements." The nurse said, then ducked out of the room without another word.

Looking at her incredulously I asked,. "You mean to tell me you haven't eaten anything today?"

"No Mom, I haven't." She spat sarcastically under her breath.

"Why not?" I asked confusedly. I kept my anger under wraps but god I was furious already and she hadn't even gotten to her peak of bitchiness yet.

"They made me eat three whole meals yesterday!" She said like it was unfathomable, She'd scuffed then and said. "There's no way I'm eating anything after that."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "You're supposed to eat three meals a day!"

"Yeah when I'm dead." She laughed bitterly under her breath.

I threw my hands up and ground my teeth. "You're going to be dead if you keeps this up! You've lost like three pounds. You're regressing."

"Oops," she said insincerely.

I had to get up. I couldn't look at her then. Oops? Ha, She was kidding right? Oops! I squeezed my hands together tightly and released them as I let out a long breath. Turning back to her I was as calm I could be while trying to reason with her. "You have to try to get better."

"I am trying god dammit!" She yelled. "But I refuse to shovel down disgusting empty calories and get ten times more huge than I already am!"

"God Francesca, when are you going to realize you can't keep doing this to yourself! You've got to make a decision to change and stick to it!"

I was so pissed at her I didn't care how much I was talking or yelling, I didn't care about sparing her feelings, I just wanted her to understand.

Scuffing she looked at me and asked, "Yeah, and you have?"

"I have." I said looking at her dead pan. I couldn't believe she'd just said that to me. Like she didn't believe I could change. Well she wouldn't be the first one to think I was a failure. I was just surprised I actually let myself believe she'd think any different. I mean it was true wasn't it. "I have, for you Francesca I have. But obviously that doesn't matter really. I'm just glad you let me know."

I had to leave then. I was too upset and I'd already said things I didn't mean to, I didn't want anything to get worse. I knew she'd cry but I didn't care, she deserved to. And she sure as hell better eat or I'd see to it she ate 6 god damn meals the day after.

I wasn't planning on coming back that day. It was a Friday night and I'd actually get to be home without my dad stinking up the place. He had a business trip to go on and having to sober him up for it was hard but he'd gotten the job done just in time to convince the office that him pursuing work at home was not a mistake and he was fully capable of whatever it was he needed to do. What a lie. I was happy to have him out of the house though. And coincidentally, we did not have a football game on the same weekend I happened not to want to see Francesca's face. It wasn't perfect but it was a sign right?

I ended up leaving my backpack in her hospital room and having to sneak back in after visiting hours to go retrieve it. When I got in there I actually expected her to be sleeping, it was pretty late. But easing myself into the room I stopped after shutting the door and turning around to see a big lump of sheets I was surprised to find her hiding under there. She wouldn't let me peek under but I could somewhat see through the sterile blue cacoon. She was faintly there, with her knees pulled under her chest and her head tucked into her arms.I had a feeling she was miserable.

There was a tray on her side table. I'd only noticed it after I'd thrown my backpack over my shoulder and was about to leave. Looking over it, it wasn't empty but it was surprisingly close. I felt myself smile even before I knew what I was doing. I tried to mask the sound of it as I spoke but I had a feeling she heard anyway.

"So then you did eat?" I asked her slowly, trying not to sound too happy.

There was an adamant pause oddly I didn't hear any sniffling and for once I didn't think she was crying. Her voice seemed to prove the same amazing fact as she said, "I really don't want to talk to you right now."

"Okay," I said actually understanding where she was coming from. I didn't care, she had eaten and she wasn't crying. It was a really good thing, not for me but for her. She just didn't know it yet. I would leave with no problem, everyone needed they're space. But before I left I didn't forget to lean forward and whisper a quick, ""Thank you."

Because everyone deserved to be appreciated.